Discussion:
Kill rev.stang send a message to the freemason=illuminati
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teslacoils2006
2006-02-12 00:00:44 UTC
Permalink
From the Shadows, emerges a New World Order, Their Order
We are all aware of the effects of media propaganda in our daily lives.
Few of us however, realize that media propaganda is a well orchestrated
global campaign to influence our behaviour; our thinking, our dressing,
our culture, our lifestyle and virtually every aspect of our life,
including our religion.

PRELUDE

August 2nd 1990, Saddam Hussein's forces crashed through the defences
of oil rich Kuwait. In fear of an Iraqi invasion into Saudi Arabia, the
United States and her Coalition allies poured into the Arabian
peninsula to form a deterrent; a deterrent that would be known as
Desert Shield. The result was a series of diplomatic talks;
negotiations and counter negotiations that rapidly declined into a
no-hope situation. On January 17th 1991 Desert Shield became Desert
Storm!

The conflict was witnessed by millions through the eyes of CNN and the
BBC. Showing propaganda of the systematic eradication of Saddam's
forces by a coalition far superior in technological, political and
economic power. However, what was little known was that from the
outset, the War was engineered, controlled and manipulated by an elite
group.

A group which had created the illusion of a man with power, at the head
of a million strong army, on the verge of going nuclear. A man who had
gained control over one fifth of the worlds oil overnight. However, in
reality he was merely a pawn, in amongst many pawns - Just a puppet in
a grand master plan, with the Gulf War as a well-orchestrated stepping
stone.

The orchestrators of the War were by no means strangers to controlling
major world events, in fact they have done so for centuries.
From the Shadows they have engineered every major war, revolution and
recession. They control Everything You Read, Everything You Hear and
Everything You See. They have managed to indoctrinate an entire
populous to their way of thinking, and have infiltrated key positions
in places of authority. And it is from the Shadows that they have
created A New Political Order, A New Economic Order and more sinister A
New Religious Order.

Their ultimate aim is total global domination and they will stop at
nothing to reach their goal. The goal that was outlined in a speech
given by a former President of the United States: George Bush: "What is
at stake is more than one small country, it is a BIG idea, a New World
Order".

ORIGINS OF THE FREEMASONS

In the year 1099, Pope Urban II of France, declared war on the Muslim
Caliphate to capture the land of Jerusalem, which was under Muslim rule
since 637. The Dome of the Rock was seized by a group of warrior monks
calling themselves the "Knights of the Temple of Solomon" or more
simply "The Knights Templers". In Jerusalem the Templers learnt the
secret arts of the Kabala, an ancient form of Jewish magic, along with
its dark rites and rituals. In 1314, Pope Clement 5th declared all
Templers as heretics. The Templers subsequently formed an alliance with
the King of Scotland, Robert de Bruce and aided him to defeat the
strong English army thus achieving an independent Scotland and winning
favours with the King.

The Templers had brought themselves back from the brink of destruction
and never again would they allow themselves to be destroyed. In 1603
King James 5th of Scotland became King of England by virtue of descent.
In doing so Scotland and England joined to form a new Kingdom and the
power that the Templers held over Scotland spread to give them a firm
grip on the whole of Great Britain. In order to preserve their secret
order the name "Templers" would have to die and instead the new name
they chose for themselves was the "Freemasons".

FREEMASONS IN BRITAIN

The first Royal member of the Freemasons was Frederick, Prince of
Wales. The latest members include Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and
consort to the current Queen of England, Elizabeth II, who herself is
the grand patron to the Mason. In the years to come the world would
witness Europe and America being plagued by wars and revolutions, which
were in fact schemes created by an exclusive few driven by hunger for
absolute power.

FREEMASONS & THE FRENCH REVOLUTION

In 18th Century France, the majority of the population was very poor
whilst the Aristocracy and Royalty lived a life of luxury and
extravagance. The Freemasons would use this gap to make the pledge for
power (by a carefully planned propaganda war) resulting in the biggest
upheaval in French history - the French Revolution. They completely
controlled the media system and used it to sway the tide of public
opinion. With the people, the politicians and the Military of France
under Masonic control, the Freemasons could finally strike. In 1793
King Louis 16th was beheaded in front of a crowd heralding an end to
the French monarchy and paving the way for another Masonic controlled
state in Europe. In 1904, Marquee du Rosambo, a freemason, said before
a packed audience: " We are then in complete agreement that Freemasonry
was the only author of the French Revolution."

AMERICA: THE WORLD'S FIRST MASONIC STATE

When the so-called founding fathers of America landed on Plymouth Rock
they were faced with a tyrannical British regime. In order to gain
complete dominance of the new state, the Masons orchestrated the
American War of Independence. The leader who took the war to the
British was none other than George Washington, a Freemason. The world's
first Masonic State was born-a nation that would represent masonry in
every way. A sign of the Masonic presence in America is plainly visible
on the dollar bill, which carries a picture of George Washington, the
First Freemasonic president in the world, and the picture of the
freemasonic symbol of the so-called all seeing "one eye."

HOW DO THE FREEMASONS CONTROL YOU

The Freemason's recognize that their plan for a global government
hinges completely on subjugating the masses to their agenda. The
greatest threat to their plan posing more danger than any army or law
is the threat of a free-thinking mind. In order to eliminate this
threat and to achieve their objective the Masons have set about the
boldest plan devised. The complete control of every aspect of human
life. YOUR life. And the weapons they are using against you are in your
very homes, entertaining you and your children and gradually
indoctrinating you without you even realizing. In today's society,
people are spending more and more time engaged with modern media,
television, cinema, and computer games and the Internet. Popular
fiction and popular music are integral part of our lives yet these
provide a vast expanse on the information which you are taking either
consciously or subconsciously into your mind- information on society
ranging from ideals and morals and the difference between right and
wrong to the way societies and economies should be structured is passed
before you every single day. These media play a significant role in
providing the basis for determining an individuals view of the world
and everything that exists; thus any one group in complete control of
this information placed on these media will in effect have the power to
indoctrinate practically the entire populace of the world to their way
of thinking and it is this fact that the Freemasons are exploiting. The
Masons are using the entertainment industry in particular to condition
people to their way of thinking either openly or subliminally; the
methods they use vary, but the goal is the same: to impose their
beliefs, their ideology and objectives on you in such a way that you
begin to think of them as your own.

CONTROL OF THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY

The products of the masonically-controlled music industry are riddled
with subliminal (subconscious) satanic messages. Although the listener
may be unaware, backtracking is a form of hypnotism or brainwashing and
has the power to be very destructive.

(a) Mozart
Wolfgang Mozart, a freemason himself, composed a symphony, which is
based on a story taken from ancient Egyptian mythology of Isis and
Osiaris, The pagan rites of ancient Egyptian Mythology form one of the
fundamental aspects of freemasonry.

(b) Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson is hailed today as the King of Pop. On the cover of the
recent "Dangerous" Album, the freemasonic symbol of the one eye can be
found as well as a picture of a bald headed man well known to the
Occult (Satanists) as Alistair Crowley. Alistair Crowley himself was a
freemason who became a Satanist and wrote the book "The New Law of
Man", which stated in it that it would one day replace the Quran as the
law of man.

(c) Madonna
In her famous song "Like a Prayer" it is not God that the prayer
appears to be directed at but Satan. When played backwards, the words
"0h hear us, Satan," are clearly audible. The freemasonic one eye has
also been featured on the video for one of Madonna's songs, where
Madonna actually appears with the one eye coming out of her forehead.
Madonna also appears on a video for one of her songs where she is
standing on some writing; closer examination will reveal that this
writing is actually Arabic, and is Quranic verses

(d) The Eagles
Their famous song called "Hotel California" when played backwards the
words "Yea Satan" can be clearly heard.

(e) Mick Jagger
Wrote the song "Sympathy for the Devil".

(f) Church of Satan
The "Church of Satan" was headed and founded by Anthony Sans Delivi,
the author of the Satanic Bible. It appears that the teachings of this
church may have been the integral belief of many famous personalities
in the entertainment industry, from rock groups to more main­stream
artists; Openly or subliminally their agenda and beliefs and ideals are
propagated on the big screen and the small screen, from big-budget
Hollywood films to simple cartoons. Ideas spread through the domestic
television can reach a far wider audience than movies and cinemas and
it is through this media that a new concept is being introduced: The
concept of one global leader.

(g) The Simpsons
Matt Groening the creator of the most famous cartoons The Simpsons is a
self confessed anarchist. He has himself admitted that he wanted to get
his own political ideas across within his own work but he wanted to do
it in such a way that people find it easy to accept his ideas & the
means he chose for this was the cartoon "The Simpsons". There are many
lessons programmed to us. These include disregard for authority, either
parental or governmental, the bad manners & disobedience is the ways of
attaining status amongst people & the ignorance is cool whereas the
knowledge is unfashionable. However, what is especially worrying is the
masonic undertone in one episode in particular. The father of the
family "Homer Simpson" get obsessed by a group of people known as
"Stone Cutters" or should they be called the Freemasons. Upon joining
the group, his fellow members find a birthmark on him, the mark which
makes the rest of the group declare him to be the chosen one. So goes
on to say: "I always wondered if there was a god. And now I know. There
is, and its me."

(h) Rudyard Kipling
Famous for his novel, 'The Jungle Book", Rudyard Kipling another
freemason wrote a book "The man who would one day be king". The book is
the story of two soldiers who journey to a country on the edge of India
and are captured by the local inhabitants, a people called "Kaafirs",
named after their country, "Kaafiristan". A necklace is discovered
around the neck of one of the soldiers on which is engraved the symbol
of the masonic one eye. The Kaafirs revere him as their god and
attribute to him the divine attribute of immortality. The man himself
first regards himself as a king and then in his new-found power, begins
to regard himself as really being a god. From the Muslim perspective it
is prophesized that a man would arise from amidst the kaafirs (which
means infidels in Islam). He would be recognized by his one eye and
would be made a world leader claiming first to be a king and then later
to being god.

CONTROL OF THE DRUG INDUSTRY

Drug abuse in terms of monetary value is one of the largest industries
in the world. During the 1980's with the threat of communism taking
over Central America, money was urgently required to finance the
rebellion movement against communism, and to raise this the CIA allowed
drugs to be traded between America and the rest of the world (revealed
by American Senator, Jack Bloom). The freemasons have used or created
problems within society to turn and manipulate events in accordance
with their agenda.

IDENTITY CARDS AND MOBILE PHONES

Advances in technology are the way forward for freemasons; these allow
the actions of all individuals in society to be monitored, checked and
recorded. Technology is there to restrict the choices you have. Control
of the masses means the complete control of every aspect of human life
- YOUR life! Shocking acts of terrorism, soaring crime rates and
increasing incidences of violence are propounded by film, media and
government reports alike, creates strong public sympathy and support
for harsh tactics and surveillance techniques. In this way, more and
more technology can be introduced and the level of monitoring and
surveillance can be increased. They can already find out who talked to
you on the phone, where you work, where you shop, what you eat, what
you wear, how much you are worth, what you earn, etc. One identity card
will allow even closer monitoring and enable a complete psychological
profile to be compiled on each and every individual in society. In
addition, moves are being made to replace hard currency with a system
that relies totally on electronic funds transfer (smart cards). Inside
the smart card is a microchip with a tracking device that calculates
every single transaction, and thereby log your every movement anywhere
in the world.

GLOBAL CONTROL

The Freemasons' plan for complete global control by one governmental
body means that they must pave the way for complete global economic
union, complete global legislative and political union and complete
global military union. With the formation of the European Economic
Community (EEC) the first significant steps in the creation of this
global government was taken. The EEC has become a testing ground for
the New World Order. Plans are already underway for the establishment
of complete monetary union. All this will mean that eventually, in the
super state, in the EEC there will be one currency, one economy and one
government (a masonic government).

FREEMASONS AND 3rd WORLD COUNTRIES

By the 1970's, it was becoming increasingly clear that the population
of Europe and White America was rapidly declining while the 3rd world
nations were expanding. Somehow, the gap between western populations
and 3rd world population had to be abridged to restore Western
(masonic) supremacy on a global scale. In the 1970's, President Jimmy
Carter commissioned the Global 2000 report. The findings of the report
blamed virtually all of the world's problems on the population growth
of non-­white people. The report went on as far as recommending
elimination of at least 2 billion people in 3rd world nations off the
face of the earth by the year 2000 in order to restore Western
supremacy.

AIDS - CREATED IN LABS

In the 70's, the AIDS epidemic broke out claiming huge amounts of life
in 3rd world nations. On Oct 26th 1986, the Sunday Express became the
first Western newspaper to run a front page story confirming the
findings of Indian and Soviet newspapers entitled: "AIDS made in lab
shock". In this article, a distinguished physician Dr John Seele, and
professor Jacob Seegull, a retired director of the institute of biology
at Berlin University both concluded that the AIDS virus was man-made.
The outbreak of AIDS has been linked to vaccine programmes around the
world administered by the World Health Organisation (the medical wing
of the United Nations). Germ warfare against the innocent and the weak
aimed at eliminating an entire populace off the face of the earth. AIDS
is nothing other than the modern day "final solution".

FREEMASONS AND UNITED NATION

The United Nations is a general assembly of the majority of the nations
of the world. Britain, France and America are already ranked within the
five major powers of it's security council with the others being Russia
and China. This means they have enough power to veto any motions
passed. In December 1992, the president of the general assembly
declared that "the UN must become a functional world parliament", and
went on to say that "the UN should be equipped with it's own
intelligence service".

Already above the law However, the UN has already attained military
power. It operates it's own army, an army that stood back while
thousands of BOSNIAN Muslims were killed by the Serbs in Bosnia. And
instead implement an arms embargo that left the BOSNIAN Muslims without
any means of self defence. When UN soldiers were sent to wage war
against General Mohamed Farah Aidid, during the months between June and
October 1993. American helicopters fired on hospitals, houses and
civilian crowds killing hundreds of unarmed people. After an attack in
which 71 died, the head of the UN mission, Admiral Jonathan Howe said,
"We knew what we were hitting: it was well planned." This was a clear
breach of the Geneva Convention, but when the US military attorney was
confronted on these points, his reply was that "The Geneva Convention
did not apply to the UN forces, on the technicality that the UN is not
the signatory to the convention." In other words, UN troops were free
to commit any war crimes or atrocities they wanted, and were above any
law. In fact, the UN far from bringing peace with it as it claims,
instead has spread corruption in the land, leaving a trail of death and
destruction wherever it has gone.

During the days of the cold war, the very existence of the Soviet
Union, meant that the freemasons path to a global government would take
time. Now that Communism has been destroyed, it seems that the
freemasons can at last use the UN to achieve their goals of a global
government, therefore, having the entire world at their grasp with none
to stand in their way. Or so they thought.

For as the Earth cries out because of the corruption and injustice they
have spread over the land, through the agonizing centuries of their
dominion, the world is witnessing the reawakening of an old noble
warrior "Islam". Since Islam stand against injustice and
discrimination, freemasons now trying to portraits Islam an enemy
through their media and by spreading misinformation about this great
religion. During World War One the Freemasonic governments managed to
destroy the Islamic caliphate and annex all its territories. The part
now called Iraq was put to British mandate and current borders were
defined by them and through the Iran Iraq War.

After its independence the USA took over interest in Iraq. In fear of a
DEMOCRATIC uprising the CIA aided the Baath party rise to power, making
Saddam Hussein the leader of Iraq and an ally to the Masonic states.
When Kuwait later started raising its oil prices, it was destroying the
war torn economy of Iraq. Threats were made but ignored. The situation
worsen until finally Iraqi troops were mobilized to the border. The
freemasonic media, the American media in particular, portrayed this as
a shock and an outrage. However, it is reported that the US ambassador
to Kuwait had prior knowledge of the invasion and Iraq's intentions, as
did the CIA. But the US stood still until the invasion.

After the Gulf War Saddam is still alive, and Kuwait has been
liberated. It remains to be asked exactly what purpose the Gulf War
served to the it's freemasonic orchestrators. The Masonic west has long
realized that the control of oil is vital to their economies, one of
the main reasons is their reliance on cars and road transport. However,
although technology exists to mass produce fully operational electric
cars, all attempts to do so have been vetoed. This is because oil is
crucial to maintaining their world order, without the wealth from oil,
Muslim economy would fall, and without the puppet governments and
leaders, such as Saddam Hussein, the freemasonic west could not control
the Muslim nations.

The Gulf wars served many purposes, to promote Western unity, to create
divides amongst the Muslims nations, to act as a testing ground for a
entire arsenal of military weapons and cocktails of chemicals and
drugs, but most of all it served to ensure a strong military presence
in the middle east.

WHAT IS THE ROLE OF ISLAM?

As the Earth cries out at the injustice and corruption that they have
spread out across the land, through the agonising centuries of their
domination, the world is witnessing the awakening of an old warrior,
Now the freemasons have another enemy to contend with - an enemy which
they thought that they had destroyed; an enemy that will never bow down
to the demonic plan and evil of the freemasons. That enemy is Islam.

FREEMASONS AND THE DAJJAL

The last Prophet of God - Muhammad (SAW) said that a man will appear
first as a tyrannical king, then he will claim to be a prophet, finally
he will claim to be the lord god himself. The Prophet (SAW) further
foretold that this liar would start to conquer the world and no place
would remain unscathed except the two Holy Cities of Makkah and Madina.
He will call to a false religion. He is the Dajjal, meaning "impostor"
and he will be born with one eye. It is also known that before the
appearance of the Dajjal, a group of people will pave the way for
setting up a system to prepare the world for his arrival. In other
words, the forerunner to the Dajjal will bear all the characteristics
of the Dajjal. The forerunners to the Dajjal are none other than the
freemasons.

FREEMASONS
Dajjal -The Anti-Christ

"One eye" is their official symbol
Will be born with one eye

Through the World Bank they oppress the 3rd World through unattainable
interest loans
Will oppress all who do not follow him

Many viruses have been created or mutated in laboratories
Will have the ability to spread disease

Are playing "god" by using genetics to alter and "improve" creation
Will claim the Divine Attributes of God for himself


Today the freemasons weave another kind of magic in the form of hidden
or openly propagated messages in films, televisions, cartoons, music
and all the other cogs in their well-oiled media machine. And this same
media machine has continuously been put into action to slander and
destroy the character of Islam. Their arrogance knows no bounds and
they obey no law, but that of their own making. The Prophet Muhammad
(SAW) said that a time would come when the whole world would gather
around to plan the destruction of the Muslims as if they were gathered
around a table to take part in a meal. Today the nations of the world
are doing just that around the circular tables of the United Nations
General Assembly hall.

He also said that the time of the Dajjal -The Anti-Christ would be
years of confusion, people will believe a liar and disbelieve one who
is trustworthy and those who rebel against God will have a say in
general affairs. Today, during the time preceding the Dajjal -The
Anti-Christ, there is also a time of confusion. The system set up by
the freemasons have ensnared many Muslims away from truth using lures
such as wealth, materialism and fulfilment of earthly desires. These
times of tribulation are like a giant sieve sorting out the true
believers from the apostates and the hypocrites. Many have adopted the
lifestyle and philosophy of the Dajjal system retaining perhaps only
their Muslim name or clothing wearing like a badge to their identity,
and in every other way embracing wholeheartedly the system that is
being used to eradicate Islam.

Embracing the same system that stood back and did nothing when pregnant
Muslim women had their bellies ripped open by Serbs, killing them and
the contents of their wombs. The same system that stands still while
women and little girls are being raped in Kashmir. A system that stood
still while mothers saw their children dragged away by soldiers during
the night, never to return. The forerunners to the Dajjal have set up
this system to destroy Islam, either directly through military and
economic coercion or indirectly using ideological warfare. They have
divided and conquered, instilling diseases such as nationalism and
racism, into the heart of the Ummah. Their biggest fear is Muslim unity
and revival of the Message brought by the Last Prophet (SAW) to
mankind. And everything they do is geared to prevent this.

THE FREEMASONS AND OIL

The masonic West has long realized that the control of oil is vital to
their economies. One of their main reasons is their reliance on cars
and road transport. However, although technology exists to mass-produce
fully operational electric cars, all attempts to do so have been
vetoed. This is because oil is crucial to maintaining their world
order. Without the wealth from oil, Muslim economies would fall and
without the puppet governments and leaders such as Saddam Hussein the
freemasonic West could not control the Muslim nations. Poverty creates
unity. And Muslim unity is the greatest fear to the forerunners to the
Dajjal.

CONCLUSION

The Gulf wars served many purposes to promote Western unity, to create
divides among the Muslim nations, to act as a testing ground for an
entire arsenal of military weapons and cocktails of chemicals and
drugs. But most of all, it served to ensure a strong military presence
in the Middle East. The forerunners to the Dajjal have placed a
stronghold in the very heart of Islam itself and laid a firm grip on
the Muslim Holy Lands. But although they plan, Allah also plans, and
Allah is the Best of Planners. The final victory will be to the
Muslims.
Rev. 11D Meow!
2006-02-12 00:13:58 UTC
Permalink
one toke under duh line forms to the left drop your pants and cough.
teslacoils2006
2006-02-12 00:25:32 UTC
Permalink
defiant till the last I honor that

but your time is short
Rev. 11D Meow!
2006-02-12 00:37:03 UTC
Permalink
http://www.hss.edu/
Post by teslacoils2006
defiant till the last I honor that
but your time is short
y***@yahoo.com
2006-02-13 07:39:55 UTC
Permalink
Of all the people on the face of the Earth RevDMeow = 666 is one of the
chief person Satan is in. If you really truly want to know what Satan
is like it is RevDMeow = 666.

6 X 11 = 66 and he is on US Route 66 because he is tricking people and
fommenting them into commiting acts of violence and to take up WEAPONS
= 666 and guns with their BULLETS = 666.

http://www.watchtower.org I am a Yehovah777('s) Witness not a Jehovah's
Witness and i believe Yehovah will let my brothers be Yehovah's
Witnesses also if they say that prayer i left on this discussion board
many times and make the nessesary changes in the organization.
Monsignor SODDI
2006-02-13 16:40:56 UTC
Permalink
Post by y***@yahoo.com
Of all the people on the face of the Earth RevDMeow = 666 is one of the
chief person Satan is in. If you really truly want to know what Satan
is like it is RevDMeow = 666.
1D Meow is a lot of things... but he ain't Satan.

Sam Moser, I think YOU are Satan, come here with your LIES and DECEIT to
spread FALSE information to the TRUE Elect.
HellPope Huey
2006-02-13 17:24:49 UTC
Permalink
Post by y***@yahoo.com
Of all the people on the face of the Earth RevDMeow = 666 is one of the
chief person Satan is in. If you really truly want to know what Satan
is like it is RevDMeow = 666.
Post by y***@yahoo.com
6 X 11 = 66 and he is on US Route 66 because he is tricking people and
fommenting them into commiting acts of violence and to take up WEAPONS
= 666 and guns with their BULLETS = 666.
Post by y***@yahoo.com
http://www.watchtower.org I am a Yehovah777('s) Witness not a Jehovah's
Witness and i believe Yehovah will let my brothers be Yehovah's
Witnesses also if they say that prayer i left on this discussion board
many times and make the nessesary changes in the organization.
Dude, you need more niacin. Something in your head isn't firing on all
the cylinders. Your valve guides are bent.

--

HellPope Huey
The Vice-President shot
a FRIEND in the face,
so imagine how WE rate, yikes

Liberalism is trust of the people
tempered by prudence;
Conservativism is distrust of the people
tempered by fear.
~ William Ewart Gladstone

"Slaves can have slaves; this is America."
~ "Malcolm In The Middle"

http://www.beat-factory.net/hellpope/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/hellpopehuey24/
Ray Haddad
2006-02-12 01:02:17 UTC
Permalink
On 11 Feb 2006 16:00:44 -0800, I said, "Pick a card, any card" and
Post by teslacoils2006
PRELUDE
Would you be so kind as to leave alt.magic from your newsgroup list?
We are conjurors and entertainers there.
--
Ray
nu-monet v8.0
2006-02-12 01:09:02 UTC
Permalink
teslacoils2006 wrote:
For real, do you know about that guy who tried to
kill Rev Stang? Dr Legume tracked him down and
used a chainsaw on him when he pulled a gun on him.
Shoved in right into his belly. The police didn't
arrest him, though.

Just don't threaten Stang any more, okay?


--
Rev. nu-monet
Founder and High Priest
Church of Kali, U.S.A. (Reformed)
teslacoils2006
2006-02-12 05:25:53 UTC
Permalink
kill re.Stang ......please no chain saws
teslacoils2006
2006-02-12 05:43:50 UTC
Permalink
THE DEATH OF DR. LEGUME
Yes, it's true, Dr. K'taden Legume, the brightest new lightbulb on the
SubGenius movie set, BLEW OUT.

Here's how it went down at the alt.slack watering hole in
SubGeniustown.

From: ***@aol.com (Pastor X)
Subject: *** Legume dead in car crash !
Date: 27 Aug 1995 19:23:21 -0400

To all:

Dr. K'taden Legume passed away last night after being involved in an
accident on Interstate 95. He was on his motorcycle and was struck and
killled by a drunk driver. He was pronounced dead at the scene. He will
be
missed by all. Any condolences or eulogies may be sent to me
(***@aol.com) and I will pass them on.

Legume was a hell of a guy, he helped me through some of the roughest
times of my life when nobody else gave a shit. He was one badass
Subgenius minister
and the best friend I ever had. The world is a shittier place without
him.
I hope you fuckers know what you lost, and if you didn't like him then
you
can just go fuck yourselves, because he was a giant of a man, bigger
than
life and twice as ugly.
I hope the bastard who killed him rots in the filthiest cell in the
filthiest prison on Earth, because if I ever meet him, I'm going to
make
him wish he were that lucky.

I guess if I could say one last thing on the subject, it would be
,"Doc,
you stormed through life like it was your own personal Poland, and you
deserved to die like a warrior, not like just another mundane highway
statistic. I love you, brother. Goodbye."

Please do not call and bother his family in their time of mourning.
Please send all condolences via E-mail to me, and I will be glad to
forward them.

Goodbye.

"There was nothing left but some blood where the body fell, and there
was
nothing that you could sell; just junk all across the horizon...a real
highwayman's farewell."---Bruce Springsteen

Doktor K'taden Legume 5/18/64 - 8/26/95 Rest in Peace


Pastor X

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ***@en.en.com (Lou Duchez)
Date: 28 Aug 1995 15:50:16 GMT.

I met him briefly at the Cleveland Devival. This was before his rants,
and he was socializing with friends of his. I wanted to get a photo of
him, but I'd seen him rant back in December and I didn't want a fist in
the
face. A little intimidated, I asked him: "If I take your picture you
won't hurt me, will you?" He just gave a sly smile and posed for the
camera.

Little moments like this give a bit of insight into the guy. The man
could definitely be hell on wheels, but not-so-deep-down he was just a
decent, fun-loving sort. One of the good guys, there can be no doubt.

Legume, I'd tell you to rest in peace, but you're better than that. I
like to think you're in an eternal party right now, still amazing
everyone around you. If anyone can keep the party going forever, it's
you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ***@prairienet.org (Andrew Matthews

You should have gone to Rev. G. Grrrinder's after-devival party.
Dr. Legume let down what little hair he had and really let it all
hang loose...

"Bob"'s good to me..." - Dr. Legume in what could be the most ironic
statement of the SubGenius Foundation for 1995.

$T.&REUX, KSC
OGYR NETWORK ONLINE

"For the SubGenius, you have all the time in the world..."
- Dr. K'Taden Legume 8/5/95, Cleveland Devival

--
$aint @ndrew, KSC. Ogyr Network. An official SubGenius
Mutant-Of-The-Cloth.
snail-mail: Send $2 cash to OGYR NETWORK | PO BOX 53 | PLAINFIELD, IL.
60544
email: ***@firefly.prairienet.org or ***@anl.gov
www: OGYR NETWORK ONLINE:
http://www.prairienet.org/~saint/homepage.html

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ***@lafn.org (Matthew Carey)

What? I sincerely hope that this is a joke.

--
Rev. Matthew A. Carey vision temple }{ tarzana california
18653 Ventura Blvd., Suite #379 "WE ARE NOT AN OCCULT"
Tarzana, CA 91356 send a SASE or email for FREE details
MWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMW

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ***@aol.com (Pastor X)
Date: 28 Aug 1995 19:26:01 -0400

I've been informed by Dr.Legume's family that SubGeniuses have been
ringing their phone off the hook, asking if his death is some kind of
joke. WILL YOU FUCKING VULTURES JUST CUT IT THE FUCK OUT? Leave them
be,
they have enough to deal with, without you assholes hassling them. You
aren't invited to his funeral...there will not be one. He will be
cremated on August 30th and no, his ashes aren't for sale. So just drop
it, okay? I'm handling all his arrangement, as per his will. So if you
have a problem, you talk to me. I have known Legume for over twenty
years,
he was my best friend, and I am going to do eveything exactly as Legume
outlined to me. So get over it, he's dead, he's not coming back, and
all
of your good intentions are starting to annoy those of us who knew
Legume
the man, and not Legume the "two-bit stand-up comic'. He was better
than
all of you put together, and still is. You weren't the one who had to
identify his mangled corpse, so just cut us some slack. If I could
trade
places with him, I would. How many of you can say the same?

REST IN PEACE, MY FRIEND

I can see you in Valhalla now, your shotgun gleaming in the noonday
sun.
Wait for me, brother for someday I will come. Then we'll give these
assholes HELL.

Pastor X

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ***@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Subject: DR. LEGUME
Date: 29 Aug 1995 07:02:59 GMT

I just found out, he really is dead, and it hasn't sunk in. All I can
think so far is GOD DAMN IT, GOD DAMN IT, GOD DAMN IT. Immediate,
selfish
thoughts like, "Shit, I was gonna tell him I was planning to ask GWAR
if
they wanted to have HIM open the shows instead of me for the bulk of
the
tour, and now I CAN'T." Then less immediate selfish thoughts, like,
"THE
BEST FUCKING PREACHER WE'VE HAD in YEARS!! Who's gonna REALLY blow
their
minds at devivals NOW??" and "What other preacher is big and
scary-looking
enough, and ACTUALLY TOUGH ENOUGH, to not only PREACH but also function
as
SECURITY??" And then slightly less selfish thoughts like, "Couldn't it
have been one of the BAD, WANNA-BE SubGenius preachers?" Then stuff
like,
"He was only 28, I'm 42, he's indestructible, I've already HAD at least
THREE lives, how can DR. LEGUME be DEAD while I'M still alive?"

And then you think about the practical stuff. Gotta get the word out.
Gotta call people, get the facts, fix the rumors. Gotta get a fund
started
to help his family, who are apparently poor as churchmice in a state
where
even cremation costs thousands of dollars. Write memorial stuff. Set up
a
proper memorial service/party in Philly. Edit the all-Legume Hour of
Slack. Relatively EASY things .

But I know it'll really start to sink in tomorrow. And it'll keep
sinking
in. The "it just ain't fair" feeling and the "he is ACTUALLY GONE"
feeling
are gonna be a SERIOUS BUMMER for those of us who knew him as time
passes.
Almost every devival I've done in the past three years was with him.
Legume practically MADE the last two big shows, Atlanta and Cleveland;
and
I'll be editing the tapes of those shows for radio, and the videos (if
I
can round up the other camera tapes) for sale, seeing my pal rant his
fucking head off, with more feeling than anybody since Pope Meyer, and
thinking about all the good turns he's done me, and wacky shit like the
time he ACTUALLY FUCKED the NECK-STUMP of the Bleeding Head onstage,
and
the amazing impromptu mind-rapery he was capable of, his incredible
NERVE
when it came to faking out ACTUAL TELEVANGELISTS whenever they were in
his
area (he had Peter Popoff ready to start preaching against the evil
SubGenius cult!), that intimidating figure he cut in his vestments
(which
he wore half the time OFF stage), scaring normals right and left, and
what
a GOD DAMN SWEET GUY he was. And that's the worst part of it. Legume
would
probably hate me for saying this, but he was one of the most honest,
caring, MORAL, JUST, GIVING people I ever met in my life, not that ANY
NORMAL ON THE PLANET would ever be able to underatnd it. Oh, sure,
we'll
all meet him again on X-Day, but... of all the people to get
prematurely
Ruptured, WHY HIM??? How is it that RUSH FUCKING LIMBAUGH is fat and
happy, while Dr. Legume is... well, if anybody had a free pass to
SubGenius Helle it was him, granted, but WE DON'T GET TO HEAR HIM RANT
ANYMORE!!! Like Bill Hicks, oh yeah he'll be immortalized on CD and
cassette tape... two or three whole shows' worth, whoop te do. Sure,
Hicks
and Lenny Bruce and Hendrix and all those folks get to watch him do his
NEW routines, but WE the LIVING have been CHEATED BIG TIME. Because of
a
FUCKING DRUNK. (A drunk whose name and address I'll certainly try to
learn, but the less said about that in a public forum the better.)
Because, indeed, of the Conspiracy. If the Con hadn't made alcohol the
glamorous, cheap, universally available narcotic that it is, if they
even
managed to legalize POT, for gods sake, that drunk either wouldn't have
been AS drunk, or he would've been a lot MORE fucked up and would have
killed somebody else, earlier in the evening. As I understand it,
Legume
was on his motorcycle (cheaper than a car; Legume was a working stiff
supporting his sister and brother) on the highway Saturday night, and a
drunk creamed him. That's about all I know yet, although I haven't
checked
email.

I was out of town, slacking off all weekend, didn't get back until
Sunday
evening, which I had to spend working "offline". Early this morning
there
was a message on my answer machine, left late last night by Pastor
Craig,
who had seen something about this on alt.slack and was HOPING it was a
hoax. I sort of figured it was, that Dr. Legume himself had written the
post. I had to leave immediately for JURY DUTY, though. I got picked
for a
murder trial and they did jury selection all day long, until 7:30 this
evening. Luckily, the lawyers didn't want me on the jury. I got home
about
8:00, found 13 messages on my answer machine, and thought, "Uh-oh."
Sure
enough, 4 of the calls were from Father Joe Mama, who lives in
Harrisburg
and knew Legume fairly well. He had gotten wind of the "rumor" from
***@ndrew and had called Legume's sister, who confirmed the bad news. I
made some more calls unsuccessfully trying to track down Legume's
girlfriend... hopefully Rev. Grinder has her phone number, but if
anybody
else knows her, please tell me by email or phone. We need to do some
things, things which we can reasonably presume Dr. Legume would want us
to
do.

#1: Not to mope around and be all sombre, but to GET FUCKED UP IN HIS
HONOR, PARTY OUR ASSES OFF, and invent REALLY SICK JOKES about the
whole
thing. To this end, I think we who knew him need to schedule a memorial
gut-blowout in Philadelphia somehow. It doesn't need to be immediately,
but within a couple of months. He'll be long cremated by then, but I'm
sure his meat shell was the least of Dr. Legume's concerns, despite the
imposing nature of that meat shell. Which brings me to the most
immediate
concern:

#2: SEND MONEY TO LEGUME'S SISTER, JOSEPHINE NAROUSKI. That is another
thing Dr. Legume would want his friends to do. Legume never talked
about
his family much, and nobody pried, but Joe Mama has spent the night at
the
Legume house and can vouch that it's a financially strapped situation.
Legume was apparently the main breadwinner for his sister and a very
handicapped brother. In Pennsylvania, even a pauper's funeral costs a
fortune. Even if you're being cremated, they have to embalm you first,
put
you in an expensive coffin, and THEN cremate you.

I need to give it a few days and then discuss this with Josephine, I
guess... but AS FAR AS I KNOW, you COULD send checks or preferably
money
orders to:
NAROUSKI
#2 Seventh St.
Brookhaven, PA 19015

#3. Not for discussion in a public forum. If we learn that the drunk
perpetrator has already made a Christopher Reeve of himself, it's
probably
a moot point.

I have been taking it easy and have been slow to answer mail and
whatnot
lately, but if you can help with Legumian follow-up in a practical way,
I'll get back to you quick.

Dr. Legume was so ...

((a whole bunch of stuff deleted because it was a pathetic attempt to
express the inexpressible and explain the unexplainable))

Let me put it this way. It hasn't even sunk in and I haven't even BEGUN
to
get maudlin about it. It's like a science fiction novel. It just CAN'T
be
real. The idea of Dr. Legume being GONE is just too outrageous. He was
the
PERFECT SubGenius, when you get right down to it. Even his imperfection
was perfect, to the extent that all future "Last Supper" type
illustrations of "Bob" should include Dr. Legume at his right hand.
Well,
maybe I am getting maudlin. But FUCK IT. I kinda wish I could be this
maudlin BEFORE somebody died.

Most of you never got to see Legume rant. Even the Hour of Slack
listeners
have only heard bad recordings, heavily edited because he cussed so
much,
of his early sermons. (We hope to change this with future CD projects,
if
we ever get any up-front cash accumulated.) Very few of you got to be
his
friend. He was my friend and I am one lucky son of a bitch because of
it.
If we started a thread here called "TALES OF DR. LEGUME," and everyone
who
had one contributed, you might get the slightest inkling. Legume didn't
even hear of the Church until about 3 years ago, and in that time he
managed to leap-frog over hundreds of others to become, very truly, one
of
the Original Thirsteen Apostles. And I'm not saying that just because
he's
dead. There were NO PLANS for future SubGenius projects that didn't
involve him. The fucker could rant, he could write, he could collage,
and
all that... but his talents are sidebars to his PERSONALITY. He was
truly
one of a kind, an archetype. He was getting to be a natural legend
while
he was alive, and the whole Church was cashing in on him indirectly. I
have not the slightest doubt that he would LOVE to see us blow that
legend
up even bigger and cash in on his Legumeness even more. He set a
standard
in the Church of the SubGenius that only he could live up to, but he
did
it in such a way that it made the rest of us want to TRY. I've been a
SubGenius preacher for so long that sometimes it almost seems like just
a
"job." Legume preached because he BELIEVED... not in the stupid way,
not
in the psycho-Bobbie way, but in the deepest way. He understood what
the
Church of the SubGenius is REALLY FOR, what it's REALLY ABOUT, better
than
almost anybody, but he was also able to EXPRESS that in a way that
nobody
else ever thought of, but which nobody with half a brain could forget.

Legume preached at less than two dozen devivals, but I don't think
anybody
who was there would argue that his were the most memorable moments at
those devivals. People who had no prior experience with the Church, who
didn't know Stang from Hypercleats from "Bob," came away from those
shows
with the image indelibly engraved into their brains of that tall,
musclebound, yet baby-faced guy, raging and fuming against the Con, at
first tentatively, then bellowing, then BRILLIANTLY, TRUTHFULLY,
unleashing CONCEPTS that had never OCCURRED to anybody before, using
razor-sharp SICK GAGS that were sick as ten Nenslo-Vreedeez mutations
because of his increasingly IMPECCABLE delivery and the fact that he
was
doing it right there in front of you, actually CREATING THE RANT right
off
the top of his head BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES, because he didn't have to
worry
about writing it all down to make it work; he had so much passion that
the
passion itself made it work.

Legume was REAL. That was his gift. Most of us have to fake it at least
to
some extent. He made it seem effortless because he wasn't faking.
Instead
he trained himself to do nothing more than speak the truth. You can't
imagine what a hard thing that is to do on stage, in front of hundreds
of
staring primate eyes. Legume got to where he could do it because he had
that much passion, that much belief that somewhere down the line, even
if
he never got paid more than $80 for preaching, it would all be WORTH
it.
He had that much faith. Faith? Shit. Legume actually had no faith. He
didn't believe in a god damned thing. He could REALLY cut through the
bullshit. That takes FAR MORE than "faith."

Legume had SLACK.

He didn't have MONEY; survival was as constant a struggle as it can be
for
any working class American. He didn't have SUPER LUCK. But you can tell
that he had REAL SLACK... because he was able to spread so damn much of
it
around.

Not only that, but he had so much Yeti blood in him, and was such a
physical freak, that he could lay on the floor, and heavy people could
stand on his belly, and he could bounce them up and down as if on a
trampoline by sheer force of his mighty gut muscles.

He was one of those guys who was shunned by the Pinks his whole life,
but
(BEFORE discovering the Church) was able to aply SubGenius philosophy
in
such a way as to UTTERLY AND IRREFUTABLY TRIUMPH over all things
normal.
As a child he was weak and sickly; the Conspiracy experimented on him
with
steroids and it backfired: it made him the hardiest of anti-Conspiracy
giants. The military tried to turn him into a tool, and ended up
deciding
he was too crazy to be a soldier. THE DUMBASSES. He was the ULTIMATE
soldier. It's just that he was the ultimate soldier in OUR army, not
THEIRS. In high school, girls didn't think he was CUTESY enough, but
once
he started preaching, he enjoyed the finest POON-LOOT a SubGenius
ultra-heterosexual man can enjoy, because he had learned its WORTH.

For these reasons, while we can't help but mourn for Dr. Legume, grief
is
overshadowed by inspiration. He showed us just how far one can rocket
from
the bottom to the top, how quickly, if one but groks SLACK. So -- do we
weep and moan and impotently curse fate? No, we "pull a Legume" -- we
say
FUCK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE, and show 'em we MEAN it. Believe
me,
NONE of us are going to be able to do what he did. And if we did, he'd
be
disgusted at us for being copycats. But if we can do whatever we do as
well as he did what he did... well, if we ALL could, the Conspiracy
would
evaporate in a matter of days.

So get to it, ya wimps. Don't do it for Legume. Do it for YOURSELF. If
you
want to do something "for Legume," send his sister some money, and then
Slack Off as if tomorrow was the end of the world.

Rev. Ivan Stang

********
P.S. I just got a copy of the line recordings from the Atlanta Dragon
Con
devival, and just listened to a few seconds of it, and they sound
PRETTY
good. The music effects are mixed kinda high and occasionally
obliterate
Legume's preaching, but in general it's a DOBBSEND of a tape.

Why do we always think of this kind of shit after somebody's dead?---if
anybody out there has the wherewithal, and will swear on Jane Dobbs to
actually DO it, I'll send you a tape of a Legume rant and you can
TRANSCRIBE IT to the written word on disk for display here and on the
SubSITE. This sounds so dumb after the fact... I mean, the same thing
could be done with any LIVING SubGenius preachers. I guess a resource
doesn't become PRECIOUS until there's NO MORE OF IT. But seriously.
Legume
wrote some cool shit, but most of what he did exists only as spoken
word
recordings. It'd be a shame if we didn't put those words on disk for
later
incorporation into bigger Church projects. Legume had no computer and
paper copy is scarce. If three or four of you volunteer to do the
typing,
I have at least that many Legume rant tapes I could send out for
transcription. And no two Legume rants are anywhere near the same. I
enjoy
transcribing other SubGenii's rants myself. You'd be AMAZED how much of
the doctrinal texts originated as spoken word on tape. But I'm a SLOW
typist. That's why Revelation X took 3 years, even with Will O'Dobbs
doing
some of the retyping chores. Lemme know by email if you're serious.
I'll
warn you, though... unless you're a trained stenographer, copying taped
words to print takes about 4 days per cassette. (It doesn't matter what
kind of computer you're on. If you email it to me or send it as a
straight
text-only email attachment, it'll work on my Mac.)

--
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ***@teleport.com (NENSLO)
Subject: LEGUME KING IN SUBG HELL
Date: 28 Aug 1995 21:45:01 -0700

There's only ONE thing that EVER need be said about Dr. Legume to
let you ALL know how entirely SUPERIOR he IS to ALL OF YOU:

HE COULD TAKE A JOKE.

Dr. Legume is FUCKING the TORN OFF NECK STUMPS of ALL YOUR DEAD
GRANDMAS *AND* GRANDPAS in SUBGENIUS HELL

R*I*G*H*T N*O*W

and when you pasty-faced chinless eight-eyed question-mark-shaped
SNIVELING SPINELESS segments of DOG-TICK BOWEL get there he will do the

SAME for YOU.

What REALLY MAKES ME MAD is that it was HIM that died and NOT YOU.

It's not too late to change HALF OF THAT. It could be the ONLY
WORTHWHILE THING you ever did in your WHOLE VAPID LIFE.

You scum,
NENSLO
--
-Copyright NENSLO KDV 1995-
Send One Dollar to box 86582 Portland OR 97286
TOTAL RETROACTIVE UNIVERSAL EXTERMINATION

----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: ***@unicomp.net (cuthulu)

This is very sad, but there is a coincidence that must be told.

Today I agreed to do a web page for a lawyer who specializes in
motorcylce injury suits. I know what you are thinking here -- just
another god-fucking-damn ambulance chaser.

Au contraire, this lawyer is not only an avid bike rider (having
participated in many 'iron-butt' rallies), he is the fucking head of
the American Trial Lawyers Motorcycle Injury Litigation Group. These
people charge the lowest rates possible for suits of this nature; many
cases will be litigated free.

His name is Bill Allison, he rides a gold wing and is very
professsional in appearance, and he can be rached at 1-800-582-2086.

I would prefer this not to be construed as advertising, but as an
attempt to help the people left alive in the wake of a preventable
tragedy. I will not post again on this subject but i share the grief
of this serious ordeal.

sincerely,

-------------------------------------------------------
cuthulu
radar labs web server <http://www.rlabs.com/index.htm>
home page <http://www.rlabs.com/cuthulu/index.htm>
e-mail followups please mailto:***@prysm.com
--------------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------------------
From: ***@metronet.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Subject: Re: DR. LEGUME
Date: 30 Aug 1995 04:34:38 GMT

Part of me is STILL expecting Dr. Legume to suddenly call up and say,
"You
fuckin' dumb-ass!! All I had to do was get my sister to fake it for a
few
few phone calls and YOU IDIOTS actually BELIEVED that I could be KILLED
BY
A PINK!"

I mean... it just can't be.

But apparently, it is. I have talked with Joe Mama again, and gotten
email
from Pastor X, and I WISH IT WERE JUST ANOTHER STUPID SUBGENIUS DEATH
HOAX, but it isn't.

STOP PAYMENT on that check you sent us for a "Bob" shirt and write a
new
one for whatever you can to:

NAROUSKI

and send it to

Narouski
#2 Seventh St.
Brookhaven, PA 19015

(Pastor X told me it was UPLAND, PA, and that is the name of the town,
but
Legume told me that for some Conspiratorial reason, the Post Office
insists that you use Brookhaven instead of Upland for mail purposes
(!?!!))

By the time you read this, Dr. K'taden Legume will have been cremated.
Your money will go to helping his sister, with whom he was very close,
deal with the horrors of paying off the funereal costs and generally
coping. NOTE: his sister is NOT a "SubGenius" so don't be cutesy with
her.
In fact I believe she's a Christian. She does not need to hear your
ravings about what a great SubGenius Legume was. The idea of SubGenii
at
large helping her out was not her idea, but ours. Pastor X says it's a
good idea. Legume would think it's a good idea. JUST SEND THE MONEY,
and
preferably as a money order. If you do it anonymously she won't have to
fret about sending you a thank you note or anything.

THIS IS NOT ANOTHER DOPEY HILARIOUS SUBGENIUS MONEY-GRUBBING GIMMICK.
This
is a serious tragedy in our community of mutants. Even though Dr.
Legume
never got a chance to abuse alt.slack, take my word for it, he was a
BIG
part of the alt.slack and general SubGenius community, and I like to
think
we take care of our own.

When the Foundation here had bad financial trouble, bad enough to talk
about, we asked for help and we got it. When I've had setbacks and
needed
either moral support or to be left alone, I got that. When Nenslo
couldn't
afford to pay his online bills, we helped him out. This is another of
those times.

ANOTHER THING:

Pastor X is going to start posting previously unpublished Legume
materials. He emailed me some of this as a preview, the Diaries of Dr.
Legume. It's GREAT stuff. I will reiterate my suggestion that you who
knew
Legume contribute your anecdotes to a TALES OF LEGUME thread.
Unfortunately, a lot of the people with the best stories are probably
not
on the Net. Those who are, WHIP IT OUT.

Our Church thrives on legends, and if we reconstruct Legume as bigger
than
life, it's probably STILL going to come out as an understatement. He
actually WAS bigger than life.

***********

And it STILL won't sink in. Legume was almost literally the Superman of
SubGeniuses. That some UNKNOWING ASSHOLE was would suddenly, randomly
latch onto GREEN KRYPTONITE is just... well, it's so improbable that
it's
still very hard for me to believe. Everyone who knew Legume is probably
reeling from the implications, because if ANY SUBGENIUS was the
unkillable
survivor type, it was he. He was the one SubGenius that you tended to
think of as somehow invulnerable, and for HIM of ALL PEOPLE to be
"called
home" is hard to accept. But there it is. Why is the REALITY of this
fucking weird Church EVERY BIT AS IRONIC as its ha-ha black-humor
doctrinal output??

-- Stang

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ***@po.CWRU.Edu (Steven Bevilacqua)
Subject: Dr. Legume: A true SubGenius
Date: 29 Aug 1995 23:45:56 GMT

I just received the news about Dr. Legume, and I am, as is everyone who
knew him, extremely upset. Although I only knew Legume for a short
time, I had gotten to know him better over the last few months. This is
not only a great loss to the Church and his friends but a loss to a
society to which he had so much more to give. Following is a short
story which I hope, if you knew him, will make you smile and remember,
and if you had only seen him rant or just saw his name mentioned, will
bring you closer to

him. I don't know how many times it can be said but if you drink and
get in a car you are an asshole. If you wish to kill yourself, buy a
gun, but don't take away our loved one's through your irresponsible
stupidity.

My first contact with the SubGenius, besides an unfortunate run in with
some over-zealous Bobbies, was at the StarWood festival. The nudity was
great, but all the heavy lectures on Magick, Justifying Sex through
Alternative-Religions, Getting Stoned: A Gateway to Publication and
Fame, etc., were starting to wear on me. Just when I thought the
seriousness of this event was going to permanently disable my atrophied
left hemisphere, I heard a faint shout of "Praise "Bob"!" in the near
distance. Wearily, I

headed to the pavilion. I knew it was a SubGenius gathering from the
listing in the program, and being an open-minded individual I decided
to see what these geeks and losers were all about. (Keep in mind my
only knowledge of the church was from when I was accosted by "Bob"
quoting no-lives that wouldn't understand true slack if it crawled into
their water- cooled frop pipes.)
This was my first contact with Rev. Stang, and after a brilliant rant
on the word of "Bob", which not only revived my left brain, but also
twanged my pineal glad, and sent a dull throbbing to my medulla
oblongata, (which, by the way, would forever alter and corrupt my
existence), a new convert was introduced: Dr. Legume. Legume began
witnessing, explaining how he came to find "Bob". He interlaced this
with a fascinating true story about a young boy he new, and how after
building a nuclear device in his

basement out of an erector set, discovered that he was a little
different then the other 9 year old's at school. But the TRUTH was he
was not just DIFFERENT he was BETTER for this boy was a SubGenius!
It was a great story, but there was something not right about this
character Legume. First of all how could he be a SubGenius, this man
was far from being a pencil necked geek. In fact he more resembled the
side show strong man, with his huge arms and neatly trimmed beard. I
was waiting for him to crack, start laughing, break character, but it
never happened. Could he be for real, could he have actually been
BELIEVING what he was saying. That day I caught a glimpse into what it
meant to be a SubGeni

us, and all the prejudices of my previous experience were lifted. These
were the enlightened ones, Stang and Legume were TRUE SubGenius, both
extremely different, but both obviously "touched" individuals.
It wouldn't be for almost a year until I saw Legume again, when I
decided to bring the whole circus to town. (Although now I realize it
was more than a conscious decision). The finishing touches were being
put on the stage when I stepped outside to get a drink. Hundreds of
people were waiting to get into the auditorium for the Devivial, when a
few frightened girls ran up to me.
"Steve, there's, there's, there's a priest in the elevator and he's got
a baseball bat and... and..." , she sputtered
"Calm down, and tell me what happened", I said hugging the girl close
for reassurance.
"He LOOKED at me!", she said "LOOKED" like he had done some sort of
physical harm to her.
"and..."
"Well, then he pointed the bat at me and said "Do you believe in
"Bob"?", and then the door open and I ran!"
"There, there" I said, sliding my hands to her waist for reassurance,
"so he looked at you and he asked you a question?"
"But it was the way he did it."
"Hmmm." I was perplexed, it seemed strange, but nothing to be worried
about, I slid my hands a little lower for reassurance. Suddenly, the
girl ran off into the multitudes, she must have felt better by our
talk. So out of curiosity I decided to check things out. I walked over
to the elevator, the door slid open and out swaggered Dr. Legume. But
this was quite a different Legume then the t-shirt and jeans Legume of
StarWood. This Legume was dressed in priest's clothes complete with
collar, he was wear

ing sunglasses, the mirrored cop variety, and in his hand an aluminum
bat that would become his signature.
"Praise "Bob" ", I said hoping to get off on the right foot.
"Fuck "Bob"!, was his retort, in an odd, almost hillbilly drawl. I was
stunned, but then he gave me this queer smirk letting me know
everything was OK.
I feel that smirk summed up Legume's personality, he was large, and
intimidating, but if you got to know him, you found out quickly he was
a kind person. Now don't get me wrong, the bat was not just for looks
and I'd hate to be on the wrong side of it. But Legume was an easy
person to get along with, I doubt if he'd ever smashed anything besides
clocks and cheese-whiz, he just didn't seem like a guy with many
enemy's.
That night his rant was cut short, when we ran out of time. But during
it I noticed a few things. First he was good, real good. He had unique
style, and above all was simply hilarious. I also noticed for the
second time he seemed "for real". In the music biz they call it "buying
your own bullshit", but it went beyond even that, and I started to
question if maybe it wasn't bullshit but that he believed it because it
WAS for real.
The next night was personally a blur, a Devivial at Cavanaugh's in
Akron, OH. Orchestrated by Rev. Grrrinder, the theme was "A Taste of
X-Day". Well perhaps I took more then a taste, but before I had
completely entered the 6th plain of existence, I managed to see the
main preacher that night, Rev. Legume. Earlier he had called me over to
the bar, I thanked him for coming to my show, and apologized for
running out of time. He smiled and said it was OK, and that I should
see something. He lifted up the

sleeve on his priests shirt and displayed his arm.
"Is that for real", I asked
"Yep"
Tattooed forever into his arm was the Killing Time logo, the wings and
clock complete with dagger. Although a propaganda symbol for the
Church, whenever I see it I still think of it as Legume's personal
symbol. He took time control to an entirely different level. Adopting
the watch smashing into something all his own. That night I would watch
as two half naked women bound and gaged a Dobbs impersonator, and
Legume ripped "Bob's" still beating heart out of his chest, threw it on
the ground, and pummele

d him with the bat. I lost site of Dr. Legume for a moment in the
throngs of crazed and shouting people, but he reemerged clenching a
brain proudly in his grasp.
"The brain of "Bob"!", He shouted, a round of ewws and ahhs rippled
through the croud. I remember standing on a chair wondering what could
possibly happen next. With great reverence he placed the brain onto a
table, raised the bat above his head and with both hands began
pummeling the gushy organ. Again and again, aluminum and flesh becoming
one. The brain slid from the table with a plop. Legume retrieved it and
held it skyward.
"You can not kill the brain of "Bob"!", Legume was on a roll, "It is
indestructible....But....you can...eat the brain of "Bob" With both
hands firmly holding the brain Legume dug his face into the pink fleshy
mass. This is were I began to lose hold of my own reality. The last
thing I remembered was the good Dr. tossing pieces of brain around the
room.
The best performance of Legume's, unfortunately, was also the last time
I would see him. The show was at Peabody's in Cleveland. Legume had the
audience in tears. Every performance was better then the last and this
was no exception. Dr. Legume had become an excellent preacher. I've
been told it all came off the top of his head, he jotted down a few
points he wanted to make, and then took off. He was an amazing
storyteller, and brilliant at connecting ideas, and always, always
leading it back into th

e word of "Bob". I'm just glad we have the videos so people can
continue to enjoy his rants.
I don't know what to say, this is a terrible loss. Legume was, and will
always be the model of a TRUE SubGenius. He did it because it was fun,
he enjoyed entertaining people. In fact it was hard to get him to stop
once he took the stage. But most of all he was genuine, completely
real. It took me a long time to realize that.
I was talking to him only a few days ago about some gigs I was setting
up in which he was to play a major part, and I was telling him how
great I thought his ranting was.
He explained to me why:
"You know why it's good don't you, because it's real. When I'm up there
that's me, everything you see is what I am. It's genuine, it's not just
some act. You know that, right?"

And he was real, the genuine article. It's something you rarely find in
life. I don't know if I'll ever see it again, but I know my life and
others were changed by this bat-wielding SubGenius. And even though I
only knew him for a short time I will truly miss him, his sense of
humor, and that sly grin.


Steve
--
Rev. Steve Bevilacqua, owner Flying Lemur Strange and Unusual
Books. Specializing in Erotica! Occult! Drug Culture! Anti-
Establishment! More! 13743 MAdison Ave. Cleveland OH.
Way Cool Web Site http://www.apk.net/lemur

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ***@io.com (gggor)
Subject: Re: LEGUME KING IN SUBG HELL
Date: 30 Aug 1995 01:45:47 GMT
There's only ONE thing that EVER need be said about Dr. Legume to
HE COULD TAKE A JOKE.
Dr. Legume is FUCKING the TORN OFF NECK STUMPS of ALL YOUR DEAD
GRANDMAS *AND* GRANDPAS in SUBGENIUS HELL
R*I*G*H*T N*O*W
and when you pasty-faced chinless eight-eyed question-mark-shaped
SNIVELING SPINELESS segments of DOG-TICK BOWEL get there he will do the
SAME for YOU.
What REALLY MAKES ME MAD is that it was HIM that died and NOT YOU.
It's not too late to change HALF OF THAT. It could be the ONLY
WORTHWHILE THING you ever did in your WHOLE VAPID LIFE.
You scum,
NENSLO
I couldn't agree more, I met Dr. Legume at the Chicago Con and we
FUCKINGWELL PARTIED DOWN..
now he's done the fucking forty-frame fade to black...Just when new
blood and testosterone PROMISED TO PUT SOME BALLS
BACK IN THE CHURCH! I admired the man, I saw great potential
and it figures some fucking drunk got him...he went fast, went hard
and was a true DOKTOR...I will miss him and would gladly trade
most of the Internet subscribers to get him back...of course if
we got hold of his body and enough dupes and Bobbies to supply
sufficient life-force to re-animate him....But Nah! It would take
the nentessence of DOKTORS to bring him back all the way...
Ah well, the Fightin' Jesus and someone to cover his back when
metaphysical ass-kicking time rolls around...Saludos Amigo
we will miss you!

GG. Gordon

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ***@lafn.org (Matthew Carey)
Subject: Re: *** Legume dead in car crash !
What? I sincerely hope that this is a joke.
FUCK.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ***@teleport.com (NENSLO)
Subject: Legume dead better than YOU alive

Listen, Legume used up more LIVING in FIVE MINUTES OF DREAMLESS
SLEEP than you hunks of copepod vomit ALL TOGETHER will use in your
entire lives. Even as an urn full of scorched calcium chunks he's
BIGGER, SMARTER, SEXIER, AND SCARIER than your most naive
comic-book-style wish fantasies of what you would RATHER be than the
pale
puking worthless wretch you are.
Killing yourself won't bring Legume back, BUT IT WON'T HURT TO TRY.

Hatefully,
Nenslo

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ***@prairienet.org (Andrew Matthews)
Subject: Re: Legume dead better than YOU alive

Dear Nenslo:

I love you.

Did I ever tell you that?

As far as killing myself, how about if you do it first, and then I,
as your mindless faithful fan, will follow in abject adoration and
in hopes of gaining your acceptance and approval.

Your friend in Nenslonian LUV,

$T.&REUX, KSC
OGYR NETWORK ONLINE


--
$aint @ndrew, KSC. Ogyr Network. An official SubGenius
Mutant-Of-The-Cloth.
snail-mail: Send $2 cash to OGYR NETWORK | PO BOX 53 | PLAINFIELD, IL.
60544
email: ***@firefly.prairienet.org or ***@anl.gov
www: OGYR NETWORK ONLINE:
http://www.prairienet.org/~saint/homepage.html

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ***@ix.netcom.com (the Grand Clavister )
Subject: Re: Legume dead better than YOU alive
Date: 31 Aug 1995 13:59:07 GMT

Ha! At least Legume doesn't have to live on the same planet with a
pathetic,
self-deluded greasy worm-boy like YOU, Nensly. He's probably doing the
Funky
Chicken in Valhalla right now, thinking about that.

As a matter of fact, he's probably doing the FC anyway. I think people
'round
here are showing their true colors (Pink and yeller) by going on about
what a
loss it is for him to be dead. THE IRISH GOTS THE RIGHT IDEA! Let's
throw Legume
a party, with drinking, Fropping, fucking and general carrying on!
Let's show
the big sonofabitch what he meant to us when he was alive! Quit your
blubberin'!

I go now to drink myself into a fierce state of celebration. TO
LEGUME!!

the Grand Clavister of NYC (and points Beyond)
(SLONTHE!)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: ***@teleport.com (The "N" Word)

the Grand Clavister (***@ix.netcom.com) wrote:

: Ha! At least Legume doesn't have to live on the same planet with a
pathetic,
: self-deluded greasy worm-boy like YOU, Nensly. He's probably doing
the Funky
: Chicken in Valhalla right now, thinking about that.

After I went out of my way to send you that plastic key taped to
my Caesar's Club Card. That's gratitude for you. I just wish you had
come up with a better insult. Well, that's probably all I deserve,
HALF-ASSEDNESS.

: Let's show
: the big sonofabitch what he meant to us when he was alive!

Well hell, he only meant Jack Shit to about half a dozen of us
when he was alive, let's show him what he means to us now that he's
dead;
an excuse for ME to tell YOU what a DickBrain you are.

That's reason enough for ANYONE to die. Why not YOU?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Lord Chain Smerker
2006-02-12 05:52:23 UTC
Permalink
Post by teslacoils2006
THE DEATH OF DR. LEGUME
Yes, it's true, Dr. K'taden Legume, the brightest new lightbulb on the
SubGenius movie set, BLEW OUT.
Here's how it went down at the alt.slack watering hole in
SubGeniustown.
Subject: *** Legume dead in car crash !
Date: 27 Aug 1995 19:23:21 -0400
Dr. K'taden Legume passed away last night after being involved in an
accident on Interstate 95. He was on his motorcycle and was struck and
killled by a drunk driver. He was pronounced dead at the scene. He will
be
missed by all. Any condolences or eulogies may be sent to me
Legume was a hell of a guy, he helped me through some of the roughest
times of my life when nobody else gave a shit. He was one badass
Subgenius minister
and the best friend I ever had. The world is a shittier place without
him.
I hope you fuckers know what you lost, and if you didn't like him then
you
can just go fuck yourselves, because he was a giant of a man, bigger
than
life and twice as ugly.
I hope the bastard who killed him rots in the filthiest cell in the
filthiest prison on Earth, because if I ever meet him, I'm going to
make
him wish he were that lucky.
I guess if I could say one last thing on the subject, it would be
,"Doc,
you stormed through life like it was your own personal Poland, and you
deserved to die like a warrior, not like just another mundane highway
statistic. I love you, brother. Goodbye."
Please do not call and bother his family in their time of mourning.
Please send all condolences via E-mail to me, and I will be glad to
forward them.
Goodbye.
"There was nothing left but some blood where the body fell, and there
was
nothing that you could sell; just junk all across the horizon...a real
highwayman's farewell."---Bruce Springsteen
Doktor K'taden Legume 5/18/64 - 8/26/95 Rest in Peace
Pastor X
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 28 Aug 1995 15:50:16 GMT.
I met him briefly at the Cleveland Devival. This was before his rants,
and he was socializing with friends of his. I wanted to get a photo of
him, but I'd seen him rant back in December and I didn't want a fist in
the
face. A little intimidated, I asked him: "If I take your picture you
won't hurt me, will you?" He just gave a sly smile and posed for the
camera.
Little moments like this give a bit of insight into the guy. The man
could definitely be hell on wheels, but not-so-deep-down he was just a
decent, fun-loving sort. One of the good guys, there can be no doubt.
Legume, I'd tell you to rest in peace, but you're better than that. I
like to think you're in an eternal party right now, still amazing
everyone around you. If anyone can keep the party going forever, it's
you.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
You should have gone to Rev. G. Grrrinder's after-devival party.
Dr. Legume let down what little hair he had and really let it all
hang loose...
"Bob"'s good to me..." - Dr. Legume in what could be the most ironic
statement of the SubGenius Foundation for 1995.
$T.&REUX, KSC
OGYR NETWORK ONLINE
"For the SubGenius, you have all the time in the world..."
- Dr. K'Taden Legume 8/5/95, Cleveland Devival
--
Mutant-Of-The-Cloth.
snail-mail: Send $2 cash to OGYR NETWORK | PO BOX 53 | PLAINFIELD, IL.
60544
http://www.prairienet.org/~saint/homepage.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------
What? I sincerely hope that this is a joke.
--
Rev. Matthew A. Carey vision temple }{ tarzana california
18653 Ventura Blvd., Suite #379 "WE ARE NOT AN OCCULT"
Tarzana, CA 91356 send a SASE or email for FREE details
MWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMW
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 28 Aug 1995 19:26:01 -0400
I've been informed by Dr.Legume's family that SubGeniuses have been
ringing their phone off the hook, asking if his death is some kind of
joke. WILL YOU FUCKING VULTURES JUST CUT IT THE FUCK OUT? Leave them
be,
they have enough to deal with, without you assholes hassling them. You
aren't invited to his funeral...there will not be one. He will be
cremated on August 30th and no, his ashes aren't for sale. So just drop
it, okay? I'm handling all his arrangement, as per his will. So if you
have a problem, you talk to me. I have known Legume for over twenty
years,
he was my best friend, and I am going to do eveything exactly as Legume
outlined to me. So get over it, he's dead, he's not coming back, and
all
of your good intentions are starting to annoy those of us who knew
Legume
the man, and not Legume the "two-bit stand-up comic'. He was better
than
all of you put together, and still is. You weren't the one who had to
identify his mangled corpse, so just cut us some slack. If I could
trade
places with him, I would. How many of you can say the same?
REST IN PEACE, MY FRIEND
I can see you in Valhalla now, your shotgun gleaming in the noonday
sun.
Wait for me, brother for someday I will come. Then we'll give these
assholes HELL.
Pastor X
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: DR. LEGUME
Date: 29 Aug 1995 07:02:59 GMT
I just found out, he really is dead, and it hasn't sunk in. All I can
think so far is GOD DAMN IT, GOD DAMN IT, GOD DAMN IT. Immediate,
selfish
thoughts like, "Shit, I was gonna tell him I was planning to ask GWAR
if
they wanted to have HIM open the shows instead of me for the bulk of
the
tour, and now I CAN'T." Then less immediate selfish thoughts, like,
"THE
BEST FUCKING PREACHER WE'VE HAD in YEARS!! Who's gonna REALLY blow
their
minds at devivals NOW??" and "What other preacher is big and
scary-looking
enough, and ACTUALLY TOUGH ENOUGH, to not only PREACH but also function
as
SECURITY??" And then slightly less selfish thoughts like, "Couldn't it
have been one of the BAD, WANNA-BE SubGenius preachers?" Then stuff
like,
"He was only 28, I'm 42, he's indestructible, I've already HAD at least
THREE lives, how can DR. LEGUME be DEAD while I'M still alive?"
And then you think about the practical stuff. Gotta get the word out.
Gotta call people, get the facts, fix the rumors. Gotta get a fund
started
to help his family, who are apparently poor as churchmice in a state
where
even cremation costs thousands of dollars. Write memorial stuff. Set up
a
proper memorial service/party in Philly. Edit the all-Legume Hour of
Slack. Relatively EASY things .
But I know it'll really start to sink in tomorrow. And it'll keep
sinking
in. The "it just ain't fair" feeling and the "he is ACTUALLY GONE"
feeling
are gonna be a SERIOUS BUMMER for those of us who knew him as time
passes.
Almost every devival I've done in the past three years was with him.
Legume practically MADE the last two big shows, Atlanta and Cleveland;
and
I'll be editing the tapes of those shows for radio, and the videos (if
I
can round up the other camera tapes) for sale, seeing my pal rant his
fucking head off, with more feeling than anybody since Pope Meyer, and
thinking about all the good turns he's done me, and wacky shit like the
time he ACTUALLY FUCKED the NECK-STUMP of the Bleeding Head onstage,
and
the amazing impromptu mind-rapery he was capable of, his incredible
NERVE
when it came to faking out ACTUAL TELEVANGELISTS whenever they were in
his
area (he had Peter Popoff ready to start preaching against the evil
SubGenius cult!), that intimidating figure he cut in his vestments
(which
he wore half the time OFF stage), scaring normals right and left, and
what
a GOD DAMN SWEET GUY he was. And that's the worst part of it. Legume
would
probably hate me for saying this, but he was one of the most honest,
caring, MORAL, JUST, GIVING people I ever met in my life, not that ANY
NORMAL ON THE PLANET would ever be able to underatnd it. Oh, sure,
we'll
all meet him again on X-Day, but... of all the people to get
prematurely
Ruptured, WHY HIM??? How is it that RUSH FUCKING LIMBAUGH is fat and
happy, while Dr. Legume is... well, if anybody had a free pass to
SubGenius Helle it was him, granted, but WE DON'T GET TO HEAR HIM RANT
ANYMORE!!! Like Bill Hicks, oh yeah he'll be immortalized on CD and
cassette tape... two or three whole shows' worth, whoop te do. Sure,
Hicks
and Lenny Bruce and Hendrix and all those folks get to watch him do his
NEW routines, but WE the LIVING have been CHEATED BIG TIME. Because of
a
FUCKING DRUNK. (A drunk whose name and address I'll certainly try to
learn, but the less said about that in a public forum the better.)
Because, indeed, of the Conspiracy. If the Con hadn't made alcohol the
glamorous, cheap, universally available narcotic that it is, if they
even
managed to legalize POT, for gods sake, that drunk either wouldn't have
been AS drunk, or he would've been a lot MORE fucked up and would have
killed somebody else, earlier in the evening. As I understand it,
Legume
was on his motorcycle (cheaper than a car; Legume was a working stiff
supporting his sister and brother) on the highway Saturday night, and a
drunk creamed him. That's about all I know yet, although I haven't
checked
email.
I was out of town, slacking off all weekend, didn't get back until
Sunday
evening, which I had to spend working "offline". Early this morning
there
was a message on my answer machine, left late last night by Pastor
Craig,
who had seen something about this on alt.slack and was HOPING it was a
hoax. I sort of figured it was, that Dr. Legume himself had written the
post. I had to leave immediately for JURY DUTY, though. I got picked
for a
murder trial and they did jury selection all day long, until 7:30 this
evening. Luckily, the lawyers didn't want me on the jury. I got home
about
8:00, found 13 messages on my answer machine, and thought, "Uh-oh."
Sure
enough, 4 of the calls were from Father Joe Mama, who lives in
Harrisburg
and knew Legume fairly well. He had gotten wind of the "rumor" from
made some more calls unsuccessfully trying to track down Legume's
girlfriend... hopefully Rev. Grinder has her phone number, but if
anybody
else knows her, please tell me by email or phone. We need to do some
things, things which we can reasonably presume Dr. Legume would want us
to
do.
#1: Not to mope around and be all sombre, but to GET FUCKED UP IN HIS
HONOR, PARTY OUR ASSES OFF, and invent REALLY SICK JOKES about the
whole
thing. To this end, I think we who knew him need to schedule a memorial
gut-blowout in Philadelphia somehow. It doesn't need to be immediately,
but within a couple of months. He'll be long cremated by then, but I'm
sure his meat shell was the least of Dr. Legume's concerns, despite the
imposing nature of that meat shell. Which brings me to the most
immediate
#2: SEND MONEY TO LEGUME'S SISTER, JOSEPHINE NAROUSKI. That is another
thing Dr. Legume would want his friends to do. Legume never talked
about
his family much, and nobody pried, but Joe Mama has spent the night at
the
Legume house and can vouch that it's a financially strapped situation.
Legume was apparently the main breadwinner for his sister and a very
handicapped brother. In Pennsylvania, even a pauper's funeral costs a
fortune. Even if you're being cremated, they have to embalm you first,
put
you in an expensive coffin, and THEN cremate you.
I need to give it a few days and then discuss this with Josephine, I
guess... but AS FAR AS I KNOW, you COULD send checks or preferably
money
NAROUSKI
#2 Seventh St.
Brookhaven, PA 19015
#3. Not for discussion in a public forum. If we learn that the drunk
perpetrator has already made a Christopher Reeve of himself, it's
probably
a moot point.
I have been taking it easy and have been slow to answer mail and
whatnot
lately, but if you can help with Legumian follow-up in a practical way,
I'll get back to you quick.
Dr. Legume was so ...
((a whole bunch of stuff deleted because it was a pathetic attempt to
express the inexpressible and explain the unexplainable))
Let me put it this way. It hasn't even sunk in and I haven't even BEGUN
to
get maudlin about it. It's like a science fiction novel. It just CAN'T
be
real. The idea of Dr. Legume being GONE is just too outrageous. He was
the
PERFECT SubGenius, when you get right down to it. Even his imperfection
was perfect, to the extent that all future "Last Supper" type
illustrations of "Bob" should include Dr. Legume at his right hand.
Well,
maybe I am getting maudlin. But FUCK IT. I kinda wish I could be this
maudlin BEFORE somebody died.
Most of you never got to see Legume rant. Even the Hour of Slack
listeners
have only heard bad recordings, heavily edited because he cussed so
much,
of his early sermons. (We hope to change this with future CD projects,
if
we ever get any up-front cash accumulated.) Very few of you got to be
his
friend. He was my friend and I am one lucky son of a bitch because of
it.
If we started a thread here called "TALES OF DR. LEGUME," and everyone
who
had one contributed, you might get the slightest inkling. Legume didn't
even hear of the Church until about 3 years ago, and in that time he
managed to leap-frog over hundreds of others to become, very truly, one
of
the Original Thirsteen Apostles. And I'm not saying that just because
he's
dead. There were NO PLANS for future SubGenius projects that didn't
involve him. The fucker could rant, he could write, he could collage,
and
all that... but his talents are sidebars to his PERSONALITY. He was
truly
one of a kind, an archetype. He was getting to be a natural legend
while
he was alive, and the whole Church was cashing in on him indirectly. I
have not the slightest doubt that he would LOVE to see us blow that
legend
up even bigger and cash in on his Legumeness even more. He set a
standard
in the Church of the SubGenius that only he could live up to, but he
did
it in such a way that it made the rest of us want to TRY. I've been a
SubGenius preacher for so long that sometimes it almost seems like just
a
"job." Legume preached because he BELIEVED... not in the stupid way,
not
in the psycho-Bobbie way, but in the deepest way. He understood what
the
Church of the SubGenius is REALLY FOR, what it's REALLY ABOUT, better
than
almost anybody, but he was also able to EXPRESS that in a way that
nobody
else ever thought of, but which nobody with half a brain could forget.
Legume preached at less than two dozen devivals, but I don't think
anybody
who was there would argue that his were the most memorable moments at
those devivals. People who had no prior experience with the Church, who
didn't know Stang from Hypercleats from "Bob," came away from those
shows
with the image indelibly engraved into their brains of that tall,
musclebound, yet baby-faced guy, raging and fuming against the Con, at
first tentatively, then bellowing, then BRILLIANTLY, TRUTHFULLY,
unleashing CONCEPTS that had never OCCURRED to anybody before, using
razor-sharp SICK GAGS that were sick as ten Nenslo-Vreedeez mutations
because of his increasingly IMPECCABLE delivery and the fact that he
was
doing it right there in front of you, actually CREATING THE RANT right
off
the top of his head BEFORE YOUR VERY EYES, because he didn't have to
worry
about writing it all down to make it work; he had so much passion that
the
passion itself made it work.
Legume was REAL. That was his gift. Most of us have to fake it at least
to
some extent. He made it seem effortless because he wasn't faking.
Instead
he trained himself to do nothing more than speak the truth. You can't
imagine what a hard thing that is to do on stage, in front of hundreds
of
staring primate eyes. Legume got to where he could do it because he had
that much passion, that much belief that somewhere down the line, even
if
he never got paid more than $80 for preaching, it would all be WORTH
it.
He had that much faith. Faith? Shit. Legume actually had no faith. He
didn't believe in a god damned thing. He could REALLY cut through the
bullshit. That takes FAR MORE than "faith."
Legume had SLACK.
He didn't have MONEY; survival was as constant a struggle as it can be
for
any working class American. He didn't have SUPER LUCK. But you can tell
that he had REAL SLACK... because he was able to spread so damn much of
it
around.
Not only that, but he had so much Yeti blood in him, and was such a
physical freak, that he could lay on the floor, and heavy people could
stand on his belly, and he could bounce them up and down as if on a
trampoline by sheer force of his mighty gut muscles.
He was one of those guys who was shunned by the Pinks his whole life,
but
(BEFORE discovering the Church) was able to aply SubGenius philosophy
in
such a way as to UTTERLY AND IRREFUTABLY TRIUMPH over all things
normal.
As a child he was weak and sickly; the Conspiracy experimented on him
with
steroids and it backfired: it made him the hardiest of anti-Conspiracy
giants. The military tried to turn him into a tool, and ended up
deciding
he was too crazy to be a soldier. THE DUMBASSES. He was the ULTIMATE
soldier. It's just that he was the ultimate soldier in OUR army, not
THEIRS. In high school, girls didn't think he was CUTESY enough, but
once
he started preaching, he enjoyed the finest POON-LOOT a SubGenius
ultra-heterosexual man can enjoy, because he had learned its WORTH.
For these reasons, while we can't help but mourn for Dr. Legume, grief
is
overshadowed by inspiration. He showed us just how far one can rocket
from
the bottom to the top, how quickly, if one but groks SLACK. So -- do we
weep and moan and impotently curse fate? No, we "pull a Legume" -- we
say
FUCK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE, and show 'em we MEAN it. Believe
me,
NONE of us are going to be able to do what he did. And if we did, he'd
be
disgusted at us for being copycats. But if we can do whatever we do as
well as he did what he did... well, if we ALL could, the Conspiracy
would
evaporate in a matter of days.
So get to it, ya wimps. Don't do it for Legume. Do it for YOURSELF. If
you
want to do something "for Legume," send his sister some money, and then
Slack Off as if tomorrow was the end of the world.
Rev. Ivan Stang
********
P.S. I just got a copy of the line recordings from the Atlanta Dragon
Con
devival, and just listened to a few seconds of it, and they sound
PRETTY
good. The music effects are mixed kinda high and occasionally
obliterate
Legume's preaching, but in general it's a DOBBSEND of a tape.
Why do we always think of this kind of shit after somebody's dead?---if
anybody out there has the wherewithal, and will swear on Jane Dobbs to
actually DO it, I'll send you a tape of a Legume rant and you can
TRANSCRIBE IT to the written word on disk for display here and on the
SubSITE. This sounds so dumb after the fact... I mean, the same thing
could be done with any LIVING SubGenius preachers. I guess a resource
doesn't become PRECIOUS until there's NO MORE OF IT. But seriously.
Legume
wrote some cool shit, but most of what he did exists only as spoken
word
recordings. It'd be a shame if we didn't put those words on disk for
later
incorporation into bigger Church projects. Legume had no computer and
paper copy is scarce. If three or four of you volunteer to do the
typing,
I have at least that many Legume rant tapes I could send out for
transcription. And no two Legume rants are anywhere near the same. I
enjoy
transcribing other SubGenii's rants myself. You'd be AMAZED how much of
the doctrinal texts originated as spoken word on tape. But I'm a SLOW
typist. That's why Revelation X took 3 years, even with Will O'Dobbs
doing
some of the retyping chores. Lemme know by email if you're serious.
I'll
warn you, though... unless you're a trained stenographer, copying taped
words to print takes about 4 days per cassette. (It doesn't matter what
kind of computer you're on. If you email it to me or send it as a
straight
text-only email attachment, it'll work on my Mac.)
--
Copyright 1995 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: LEGUME KING IN SUBG HELL
Date: 28 Aug 1995 21:45:01 -0700
There's only ONE thing that EVER need be said about Dr. Legume to
HE COULD TAKE A JOKE.
Dr. Legume is FUCKING the TORN OFF NECK STUMPS of ALL YOUR DEAD
GRANDMAS *AND* GRANDPAS in SUBGENIUS HELL
R*I*G*H*T N*O*W
and when you pasty-faced chinless eight-eyed question-mark-shaped
SNIVELING SPINELESS segments of DOG-TICK BOWEL get there he will do the
SAME for YOU.
What REALLY MAKES ME MAD is that it was HIM that died and NOT YOU.
It's not too late to change HALF OF THAT. It could be the ONLY
WORTHWHILE THING you ever did in your WHOLE VAPID LIFE.
You scum,
NENSLO
--
-Copyright NENSLO KDV 1995-
Send One Dollar to box 86582 Portland OR 97286
TOTAL RETROACTIVE UNIVERSAL EXTERMINATION
----------------------------------------------------------------------
This is very sad, but there is a coincidence that must be told.
Today I agreed to do a web page for a lawyer who specializes in
motorcylce injury suits. I know what you are thinking here -- just
another god-fucking-damn ambulance chaser.
Au contraire, this lawyer is not only an avid bike rider (having
participated in many 'iron-butt' rallies), he is the fucking head of
the American Trial Lawyers Motorcycle Injury Litigation Group. These
people charge the lowest rates possible for suits of this nature; many
cases will be litigated free.
His name is Bill Allison, he rides a gold wing and is very
professsional in appearance, and he can be rached at 1-800-582-2086.
I would prefer this not to be construed as advertising, but as an
attempt to help the people left alive in the wake of a preventable
tragedy. I will not post again on this subject but i share the grief
of this serious ordeal.
sincerely,
-------------------------------------------------------
cuthulu
radar labs web server <http://www.rlabs.com/index.htm>
home page <http://www.rlabs.com/cuthulu/index.htm>
--------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: DR. LEGUME
Date: 30 Aug 1995 04:34:38 GMT
Part of me is STILL expecting Dr. Legume to suddenly call up and say,
"You
fuckin' dumb-ass!! All I had to do was get my sister to fake it for a
few
few phone calls and YOU IDIOTS actually BELIEVED that I could be KILLED
BY
A PINK!"
I mean... it just can't be.
But apparently, it is. I have talked with Joe Mama again, and gotten
email
from Pastor X, and I WISH IT WERE JUST ANOTHER STUPID SUBGENIUS DEATH
HOAX, but it isn't.
STOP PAYMENT on that check you sent us for a "Bob" shirt and write a
new
NAROUSKI
and send it to
Narouski
#2 Seventh St.
Brookhaven, PA 19015
(Pastor X told me it was UPLAND, PA, and that is the name of the town,
but
Legume told me that for some Conspiratorial reason, the Post Office
insists that you use Brookhaven instead of Upland for mail purposes
(!?!!))
By the time you read this, Dr. K'taden Legume will have been cremated.
Your money will go to helping his sister, with whom he was very close,
deal with the horrors of paying off the funereal costs and generally
coping. NOTE: his sister is NOT a "SubGenius" so don't be cutesy with
her.
In fact I believe she's a Christian. She does not need to hear your
ravings about what a great SubGenius Legume was. The idea of SubGenii
at
large helping her out was not her idea, but ours. Pastor X says it's a
good idea. Legume would think it's a good idea. JUST SEND THE MONEY,
and
preferably as a money order. If you do it anonymously she won't have to
fret about sending you a thank you note or anything.
THIS IS NOT ANOTHER DOPEY HILARIOUS SUBGENIUS MONEY-GRUBBING GIMMICK.
This
is a serious tragedy in our community of mutants. Even though Dr.
Legume
never got a chance to abuse alt.slack, take my word for it, he was a
BIG
part of the alt.slack and general SubGenius community, and I like to
think
we take care of our own.
When the Foundation here had bad financial trouble, bad enough to talk
about, we asked for help and we got it. When I've had setbacks and
needed
either moral support or to be left alone, I got that. When Nenslo
couldn't
afford to pay his online bills, we helped him out. This is another of
those times.
Pastor X is going to start posting previously unpublished Legume
materials. He emailed me some of this as a preview, the Diaries of Dr.
Legume. It's GREAT stuff. I will reiterate my suggestion that you who
knew
Legume contribute your anecdotes to a TALES OF LEGUME thread.
Unfortunately, a lot of the people with the best stories are probably
not
on the Net. Those who are, WHIP IT OUT.
Our Church thrives on legends, and if we reconstruct Legume as bigger
than
life, it's probably STILL going to come out as an understatement. He
actually WAS bigger than life.
***********
And it STILL won't sink in. Legume was almost literally the Superman of
SubGeniuses. That some UNKNOWING ASSHOLE was would suddenly, randomly
latch onto GREEN KRYPTONITE is just... well, it's so improbable that
it's
still very hard for me to believe. Everyone who knew Legume is probably
reeling from the implications, because if ANY SUBGENIUS was the
unkillable
survivor type, it was he. He was the one SubGenius that you tended to
think of as somehow invulnerable, and for HIM of ALL PEOPLE to be
"called
home" is hard to accept. But there it is. Why is the REALITY of this
fucking weird Church EVERY BIT AS IRONIC as its ha-ha black-humor
doctrinal output??
-- Stang
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Dr. Legume: A true SubGenius
Date: 29 Aug 1995 23:45:56 GMT
I just received the news about Dr. Legume, and I am, as is everyone who
knew him, extremely upset. Although I only knew Legume for a short
time, I had gotten to know him better over the last few months. This is
not only a great loss to the Church and his friends but a loss to a
society to which he had so much more to give. Following is a short
story which I hope, if you knew him, will make you smile and remember,
and if you had only seen him rant or just saw his name mentioned, will
bring you closer to
him. I don't know how many times it can be said but if you drink and
get in a car you are an asshole. If you wish to kill yourself, buy a
gun, but don't take away our loved one's through your irresponsible
stupidity.
My first contact with the SubGenius, besides an unfortunate run in with
some over-zealous Bobbies, was at the StarWood festival. The nudity was
great, but all the heavy lectures on Magick, Justifying Sex through
Alternative-Religions, Getting Stoned: A Gateway to Publication and
Fame, etc., were starting to wear on me. Just when I thought the
seriousness of this event was going to permanently disable my atrophied
left hemisphere, I heard a faint shout of "Praise "Bob"!" in the near
distance. Wearily, I
headed to the pavilion. I knew it was a SubGenius gathering from the
listing in the program, and being an open-minded individual I decided
to see what these geeks and losers were all about. (Keep in mind my
only knowledge of the church was from when I was accosted by "Bob"
quoting no-lives that wouldn't understand true slack if it crawled into
their water- cooled frop pipes.)
This was my first contact with Rev. Stang, and after a brilliant rant
on the word of "Bob", which not only revived my left brain, but also
twanged my pineal glad, and sent a dull throbbing to my medulla
oblongata, (which, by the way, would forever alter and corrupt my
existence), a new convert was introduced: Dr. Legume. Legume began
witnessing, explaining how he came to find "Bob". He interlaced this
with a fascinating true story about a young boy he new, and how after
building a nuclear device in his
basement out of an erector set, discovered that he was a little
different then the other 9 year old's at school. But the TRUTH was he
was not just DIFFERENT he was BETTER for this boy was a SubGenius!
It was a great story, but there was something not right about this
character Legume. First of all how could he be a SubGenius, this man
was far from being a pencil necked geek. In fact he more resembled the
side show strong man, with his huge arms and neatly trimmed beard. I
was waiting for him to crack, start laughing, break character, but it
never happened. Could he be for real, could he have actually been
BELIEVING what he was saying. That day I caught a glimpse into what it
meant to be a SubGeni
us, and all the prejudices of my previous experience were lifted. These
were the enlightened ones, Stang and Legume were TRUE SubGenius, both
extremely different, but both obviously "touched" individuals.
It wouldn't be for almost a year until I saw Legume again, when I
decided to bring the whole circus to town. (Although now I realize it
was more than a conscious decision). The finishing touches were being
put on the stage when I stepped outside to get a drink. Hundreds of
people were waiting to get into the auditorium for the Devivial, when a
few frightened girls ran up to me.
"Steve, there's, there's, there's a priest in the elevator and he's got
a baseball bat and... and..." , she sputtered
"Calm down, and tell me what happened", I said hugging the girl close
for reassurance.
"He LOOKED at me!", she said "LOOKED" like he had done some sort of
physical harm to her.
"and..."
"Well, then he pointed the bat at me and said "Do you believe in
"Bob"?", and then the door open and I ran!"
"There, there" I said, sliding my hands to her waist for reassurance,
"so he looked at you and he asked you a question?"
"But it was the way he did it."
"Hmmm." I was perplexed, it seemed strange, but nothing to be worried
about, I slid my hands a little lower for reassurance. Suddenly, the
girl ran off into the multitudes, she must have felt better by our
talk. So out of curiosity I decided to check things out. I walked over
to the elevator, the door slid open and out swaggered Dr. Legume. But
this was quite a different Legume then the t-shirt and jeans Legume of
StarWood. This Legume was dressed in priest's clothes complete with
collar, he was wear
ing sunglasses, the mirrored cop variety, and in his hand an aluminum
bat that would become his signature.
"Praise "Bob" ", I said hoping to get off on the right foot.
"Fuck "Bob"!, was his retort, in an odd, almost hillbilly drawl. I was
stunned, but then he gave me this queer smirk letting me know
everything was OK.
I feel that smirk summed up Legume's personality, he was large, and
intimidating, but if you got to know him, you found out quickly he was
a kind person. Now don't get me wrong, the bat was not just for looks
and I'd hate to be on the wrong side of it. But Legume was an easy
person to get along with, I doubt if he'd ever smashed anything besides
clocks and cheese-whiz, he just didn't seem like a guy with many
enemy's.
That night his rant was cut short, when we ran out of time. But during
it I noticed a few things. First he was good, real good. He had unique
style, and above all was simply hilarious. I also noticed for the
second time he seemed "for real". In the music biz they call it "buying
your own bullshit", but it went beyond even that, and I started to
question if maybe it wasn't bullshit but that he believed it because it
WAS for real.
The next night was personally a blur, a Devivial at Cavanaugh's in
Akron, OH. Orchestrated by Rev. Grrrinder, the theme was "A Taste of
X-Day". Well perhaps I took more then a taste, but before I had
completely entered the 6th plain of existence, I managed to see the
main preacher that night, Rev. Legume. Earlier he had called me over to
the bar, I thanked him for coming to my show, and apologized for
running out of time. He smiled and said it was OK, and that I should
see something. He lifted up the
sleeve on his priests shirt and displayed his arm.
"Is that for real", I asked
"Yep"
Tattooed forever into his arm was the Killing Time logo, the wings and
clock complete with dagger. Although a propaganda symbol for the
Church, whenever I see it I still think of it as Legume's personal
symbol. He took time control to an entirely different level. Adopting
the watch smashing into something all his own. That night I would watch
as two half naked women bound and gaged a Dobbs impersonator, and
Legume ripped "Bob's" still beating heart out of his chest, threw it on
the ground, and pummele
d him with the bat. I lost site of Dr. Legume for a moment in the
throngs of crazed and shouting people, but he reemerged clenching a
brain proudly in his grasp.
"The brain of "Bob"!", He shouted, a round of ewws and ahhs rippled
through the croud. I remember standing on a chair wondering what could
possibly happen next. With great reverence he placed the brain onto a
table, raised the bat above his head and with both hands began
pummeling the gushy organ. Again and again, aluminum and flesh becoming
one. The brain slid from the table with a plop. Legume retrieved it and
held it skyward.
"You can not kill the brain of "Bob"!", Legume was on a roll, "It is
indestructible....But....you can...eat the brain of "Bob" With both
hands firmly holding the brain Legume dug his face into the pink fleshy
mass. This is were I began to lose hold of my own reality. The last
thing I remembered was the good Dr. tossing pieces of brain around the
room.
The best performance of Legume's, unfortunately, was also the last time
I would see him. The show was at Peabody's in Cleveland. Legume had the
audience in tears. Every performance was better then the last and this
was no exception. Dr. Legume had become an excellent preacher. I've
been told it all came off the top of his head, he jotted down a few
points he wanted to make, and then took off. He was an amazing
storyteller, and brilliant at connecting ideas, and always, always
leading it back into th
e word of "Bob". I'm just glad we have the videos so people can
continue to enjoy his rants.
I don't know what to say, this is a terrible loss. Legume was, and will
always be the model of a TRUE SubGenius. He did it because it was fun,
he enjoyed entertaining people. In fact it was hard to get him to stop
once he took the stage. But most of all he was genuine, completely
real. It took me a long time to realize that.
I was talking to him only a few days ago about some gigs I was setting
up in which he was to play a major part, and I was telling him how
great I thought his ranting was.
"You know why it's good don't you, because it's real. When I'm up there
that's me, everything you see is what I am. It's genuine, it's not just
some act. You know that, right?"
And he was real, the genuine article. It's something you rarely find in
life. I don't know if I'll ever see it again, but I know my life and
others were changed by this bat-wielding SubGenius. And even though I
only knew him for a short time I will truly miss him, his sense of
humor, and that sly grin.
Steve
--
Rev. Steve Bevilacqua, owner Flying Lemur Strange and Unusual
Books. Specializing in Erotica! Occult! Drug Culture! Anti-
Establishment! More! 13743 MAdison Ave. Cleveland OH.
Way Cool Web Site http://www.apk.net/lemur
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: LEGUME KING IN SUBG HELL
Date: 30 Aug 1995 01:45:47 GMT
Post by teslacoils2006
There's only ONE thing that EVER need be said about Dr. Legume to
HE COULD TAKE A JOKE.
Dr. Legume is FUCKING the TORN OFF NECK STUMPS of ALL YOUR DEAD
GRANDMAS *AND* GRANDPAS in SUBGENIUS HELL
R*I*G*H*T N*O*W
and when you pasty-faced chinless eight-eyed question-mark-shaped
SNIVELING SPINELESS segments of DOG-TICK BOWEL get there he will do the
SAME for YOU.
What REALLY MAKES ME MAD is that it was HIM that died and NOT YOU.
It's not too late to change HALF OF THAT. It could be the ONLY
WORTHWHILE THING you ever did in your WHOLE VAPID LIFE.
You scum,
NENSLO
I couldn't agree more, I met Dr. Legume at the Chicago Con and we
FUCKINGWELL PARTIED DOWN..
now he's done the fucking forty-frame fade to black...Just when new
blood and testosterone PROMISED TO PUT SOME BALLS
BACK IN THE CHURCH! I admired the man, I saw great potential
and it figures some fucking drunk got him...he went fast, went hard
and was a true DOKTOR...I will miss him and would gladly trade
most of the Internet subscribers to get him back...of course if
we got hold of his body and enough dupes and Bobbies to supply
sufficient life-force to re-animate him....But Nah! It would take
the nentessence of DOKTORS to bring him back all the way...
Ah well, the Fightin' Jesus and someone to cover his back when
metaphysical ass-kicking time rolls around...Saludos Amigo
we will miss you!
GG. Gordon
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: *** Legume dead in car crash !
Post by teslacoils2006
What? I sincerely hope that this is a joke.
FUCK.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Legume dead better than YOU alive
Listen, Legume used up more LIVING in FIVE MINUTES OF DREAMLESS
SLEEP than you hunks of copepod vomit ALL TOGETHER will use in your
entire lives. Even as an urn full of scorched calcium chunks he's
BIGGER, SMARTER, SEXIER, AND SCARIER than your most naive
comic-book-style wish fantasies of what you would RATHER be than the
pale
puking worthless wretch you are.
Killing yourself won't bring Legume back, BUT IT WON'T HURT TO TRY.
Hatefully,
Nenslo
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Legume dead better than YOU alive
I love you.
Did I ever tell you that?
As far as killing myself, how about if you do it first, and then I,
as your mindless faithful fan, will follow in abject adoration and
in hopes of gaining your acceptance and approval.
Your friend in Nenslonian LUV,
$T.&REUX, KSC
OGYR NETWORK ONLINE
--
Mutant-Of-The-Cloth.
snail-mail: Send $2 cash to OGYR NETWORK | PO BOX 53 | PLAINFIELD, IL.
60544
http://www.prairienet.org/~saint/homepage.html
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: Re: Legume dead better than YOU alive
Date: 31 Aug 1995 13:59:07 GMT
Ha! At least Legume doesn't have to live on the same planet with a
pathetic,
self-deluded greasy worm-boy like YOU, Nensly. He's probably doing the
Funky
Chicken in Valhalla right now, thinking about that.
As a matter of fact, he's probably doing the FC anyway. I think people
'round
here are showing their true colors (Pink and yeller) by going on about
what a
loss it is for him to be dead. THE IRISH GOTS THE RIGHT IDEA! Let's
throw Legume
a party, with drinking, Fropping, fucking and general carrying on!
Let's show
the big sonofabitch what he meant to us when he was alive! Quit your
blubberin'!
I go now to drink myself into a fierce state of celebration. TO
LEGUME!!
the Grand Clavister of NYC (and points Beyond)
(SLONTHE!)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
: Ha! At least Legume doesn't have to live on the same planet with a
pathetic,
: self-deluded greasy worm-boy like YOU, Nensly. He's probably doing
the Funky
: Chicken in Valhalla right now, thinking about that.
After I went out of my way to send you that plastic key taped to
my Caesar's Club Card. That's gratitude for you. I just wish you had
come up with a better insult. Well, that's probably all I deserve,
HALF-ASSEDNESS.
: Let's show
: the big sonofabitch what he meant to us when he was alive!
Well hell, he only meant Jack Shit to about half a dozen of us
when he was alive, let's show him what he means to us now that he's
dead;
an excuse for ME to tell YOU what a DickBrain you are.
That's reason enough for ANYONE to die. Why not YOU?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
But um he fa.... it, nah wont say it
Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde
2006-02-12 17:04:59 UTC
Permalink
Post by teslacoils2006
THE DEATH OF DR. LEGUME
Yes, it's true, Dr. K'taden Legume, the brightest new lightbulb on the
SubGenius movie set, BLEW OUT.
Here's how it went down at the alt.slack watering hole in
SubGeniustown.
Ahem?
From: ***@en.com (Lou Duchez)
Date: 24 Oct 1995 20:59:46 -0400

Well, it's official: Legume didn't die in a traffic accident, in fact he
didn't die at all. It was all a hoax. He's been alive all this time,
lying low and waiting for a bitchin' blowout to reveal his non-deceasedness.

I was there at Legume's memorial bash, and Legume preached and ranted
at length about the Church needing its HATE. We don't want the good
sweetness-and-nice Church, he lectured, no we need one that hates like
a born and bred hating machine.

Problem is, Legume is largely wrong. Can anyone complete the following
phrases?

The SubGenius must have _____!
alt._____
Give me _____, or give me food, or kill me.

Yes that's right, chilluns in "Bob", it's not about hate, it's not about
mockery, IT'S ALL ABOUT SLACK. That's what we should be striving to do
here: to make Slack our quest and our guiding star, not to go for hate
or "differentness" or "rightness" or any other diversions.

Hate has its uses, to be sure. As long as we can hate THEM, they can't
have total power over us. Hate *does* let us bide our time and be able
to kick butt when the day comes ... in other words, it can help us
reclaim our stolen Slack. So I can't denounce hate itself as something
in opposition to Slack.

On the other hand, let's look at what Legume's apparent demise did. I
know that at least one person cried herself to sleep because Legume
decided to have some yuks by toying with others' compassion. To get
a dose of Slack (false Slack, I suspect), Legume felt it was necessary
to deprive good and decent Yetis of theirs. When Humans do that, we
call them Slack Vampires. I don't see that Legume is any different.

Myself, I notice that I can't generate much anger, or hatred, for Legume
over this. I suspect it's like so. Legume tried to take pot shots at
something good and worthwhile and Slack-producing in me: a heart as
wide as the Tibetan sky. Well he can try all he wants to twist that
part of me, but he won't succeed. Tomorrow he could fake his death
again, and I might believe it and mourn him; then he can "come back to
life" and laugh at my utter naivete. If that's what it takes for
him to get his rocks off, fine; it's his weakness that he has no better
venues for Slack.

All the same, I'm glad Legume is still around and kicking. It's what
he does best.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Rich? You think you're rich? You can't afford to stop and take a nap,
and you call yourself RICH?"

-- someone else
teslacoils2006
2006-02-12 17:59:12 UTC
Permalink
Don't know don't even care to investigate any further unless I find his
real name and outside sources. Any site that does not have the church
of subgenius insignia.

Interesting though freemasons can cover anything up with this group
with law enforcement on your side you could get away with murder.
nu-monet v8.0
2006-02-12 18:46:26 UTC
Permalink
Post by teslacoils2006
Interesting though freemasons can cover anything
up with this group with law enforcement on your side
you could get away with murder.
That's the point, boy.

You come into our house saying a whole bunch of very
aggressive things, when you don't really know diddley
about us at all, now do you?

Now I want you to set your mind to work, as if the clock
was ticking, and ask yourself the question that even if
we are just what you say we are, nothing more that you
don't know about, or haven't discovered, then what makes
you think we are going to tolerate a pissant like you
interfering in our business?

Nothing is really anonymous on the Internet, you know.

Here's a picture of Dr Legume:

Loading Image...

In person, he's a big guy.
--
Rev. nu-monet
Founder and High Priest
Church of Kali, U.S.A. (Reformed)
teslacoils2006
2006-02-12 05:34:41 UTC
Permalink
I'M GLAD HE'S DEAD
From: ***@aol.com (Dr 4 Bob)
Subject: *** FUCK LEGUME! !
Date: 31 Aug 1995 23:54:23 -0400
Hey you crybabies, why don't you quit whining about Legume? You all
talk
like he was "Bob" or something. He wasn't all that hot a preacher
anyway,
but most of you are so namby-pamby that even a second-rate performing
artist like legume looks good to you. You all should stop sending your
money to his stupid family and go buy yourselves a fucking life. Even
that
stupid Pastor Craig guy was more of an asset to the church than Legume.
I'd rather see more of Rev.Stang anyway. Now there's a preacher!!! He
knows not to cross the line.

--------------------------------------
From: Rev. Ivan Stang
Subject: ****Fuck LEGUME!

After giving it some thought, I've changed my mind. I'm GLAD Legume
bought it. He was nothing but bad news, really. The world will probably
be a MUCH better place without him. He was a basically evil man. His
heart wasn't in Slack but in TORTURE. And he smelled bad. He probably
smells better now than he did while alive. Did I mention his looks? He
was ugly. His face was like an infant's, blasphemously stuck onto this
freakish body. His rants were actually sort of long, rambling and dull.
I almost fell asleep during the last one in Cleveland. At first I
thought he had potential as some kind of idiot-savant but I learned too
late that he was faking EVEN THAT. Thank god I didn't send any money to
his sister... what I should do is send her one of those little plastic
toy boxes that makes a LAUGHING sound when you jostle it. Honestly,
Legume was an asshole. A bully. He was big and fat, so he could
intimidate little skinny bespectacled nerds, and that's pretty much his
claim to fame. I'm ashamed of myself for my knee-jerk "sad" reaction to
his death. The more I think about it, the better I feel. I'll tell you,
I think his ultimate plan was to fuck up the X-Day deal for "Bob." He
thought he was gonna get some kind of big top hierarchy status, be a
regular Pope-Doktor, and then when the critical moment came, when Dobbs
was cutting that "line" of soul for the Xists, Legume would be close
enough to the action to fuck up the whole deal. Yep -- AN AGENT OF THE
CONSPIRACY. If he was a TRUE SubGenius, would he be DEAD?? Think about
it.

This was meant to be. Anything that happens, happens because it was
"within "Bob's" Slack" (to quote Victor Cantu). If Legume snuffed it on
the highway, it's because for Legume to LIVE would have lessened Dobbs'
Slack. GET IT??

This whole deal is FUCKED. I can't believe how we've blubbered over
some asshole who was just a Slack Vampire to begin with. I for one have
had enough of it. If there was still a body, I'd say, DIG IT UP and
ABUSE it. But he's been rendered to the ashtray-like essence that he
ACTUALLY was in life. GOOD RIDDANCE, I say. "SNORTING" his ashes would
be a good idea, except that I happen to know he was carrying various
diseases that would have killed him (and anyone who shared a fropstick
with him) within a year.

FUCK LEGUME.

You think I'm KIDDING, that this is some kind of "silly bulldada
statement in deliberate bad taste"?? I'm SERIOUS AS HELL. He was BAD
SEED. The very thought of his nasty grey matter spread like jelly on
I-95 gives me a REGULAR HARD-ON. I JACK OFF to the mental picture of
his thick skull hitting the pavement hard enough for even IT to be
skwushed like an eggshell. That's the fate of sinners. I hope he wasn't
killed instantly. I hope he laid there on the asphalt under some seamy
streetlight feeling PAIN and PANIC as it FINALLY SUNK IN that he had
FUCKED UP, BIG TIME. I hope that in the last few seconds before his
candle went out, that he got to see the anonymous drunk driver lurch
over to him and SPIT on him. I hope he laid their thinking, "Oh God,
this is WORSE than being crippled for life, I think I'm REALLY gonna
DIE!!" I only wish that that drunk driver had had all Legume's
girlfirnds there to FUCK right in front of his eyes as the light left
his shattered brain. I would love to have seen the look on Legume's
face while he gazed through an almost-disconnected eyeball at his own
OTHER eyeball laying there in a pool of blood and the fore-part of his
own brain. I hope he felt the last threads of life flitting irrevocably
away and KNEW JUST WHAT IT MEANT.

OKAY????

Rev. Ivan Stang, nicest guy on Earth
Lord Chain Smerker
2006-02-12 05:43:26 UTC
Permalink
Post by teslacoils2006
I'M GLAD HE'S DEAD
Subject: *** FUCK LEGUME! !
Date: 31 Aug 1995 23:54:23 -0400
Hey you crybabies, why don't you quit whining about Legume? You all
talk
like he was "Bob" or something. He wasn't all that hot a preacher
anyway,
but most of you are so namby-pamby that even a second-rate performing
artist like legume looks good to you. You all should stop sending your
money to his stupid family and go buy yourselves a fucking life. Even
that
stupid Pastor Craig guy was more of an asset to the church than Legume.
I'd rather see more of Rev.Stang anyway. Now there's a preacher!!! He
knows not to cross the line.
--------------------------------------
From: Rev. Ivan Stang
Subject: ****Fuck LEGUME!
After giving it some thought, I've changed my mind. I'm GLAD Legume
bought it. He was nothing but bad news, really. The world will probably
be a MUCH better place without him. He was a basically evil man. His
heart wasn't in Slack but in TORTURE. And he smelled bad. He probably
smells better now than he did while alive. Did I mention his looks? He
was ugly. His face was like an infant's, blasphemously stuck onto this
freakish body. His rants were actually sort of long, rambling and dull.
I almost fell asleep during the last one in Cleveland. At first I
thought he had potential as some kind of idiot-savant but I learned too
late that he was faking EVEN THAT. Thank god I didn't send any money to
his sister... what I should do is send her one of those little plastic
toy boxes that makes a LAUGHING sound when you jostle it. Honestly,
Legume was an asshole. A bully. He was big and fat, so he could
intimidate little skinny bespectacled nerds, and that's pretty much his
claim to fame. I'm ashamed of myself for my knee-jerk "sad" reaction to
his death. The more I think about it, the better I feel. I'll tell you,
I think his ultimate plan was to fuck up the X-Day deal for "Bob." He
thought he was gonna get some kind of big top hierarchy status, be a
regular Pope-Doktor, and then when the critical moment came, when Dobbs
was cutting that "line" of soul for the Xists, Legume would be close
enough to the action to fuck up the whole deal. Yep -- AN AGENT OF THE
CONSPIRACY. If he was a TRUE SubGenius, would he be DEAD?? Think about
it.
This was meant to be. Anything that happens, happens because it was
"within "Bob's" Slack" (to quote Victor Cantu). If Legume snuffed it on
the highway, it's because for Legume to LIVE would have lessened Dobbs'
Slack. GET IT??
This whole deal is FUCKED. I can't believe how we've blubbered over
some asshole who was just a Slack Vampire to begin with. I for one have
had enough of it. If there was still a body, I'd say, DIG IT UP and
ABUSE it. But he's been rendered to the ashtray-like essence that he
ACTUALLY was in life. GOOD RIDDANCE, I say. "SNORTING" his ashes would
be a good idea, except that I happen to know he was carrying various
diseases that would have killed him (and anyone who shared a fropstick
with him) within a year.
FUCK LEGUME.
You think I'm KIDDING, that this is some kind of "silly bulldada
statement in deliberate bad taste"?? I'm SERIOUS AS HELL. He was BAD
SEED. The very thought of his nasty grey matter spread like jelly on
I-95 gives me a REGULAR HARD-ON. I JACK OFF to the mental picture of
his thick skull hitting the pavement hard enough for even IT to be
skwushed like an eggshell. That's the fate of sinners. I hope he wasn't
killed instantly. I hope he laid there on the asphalt under some seamy
streetlight feeling PAIN and PANIC as it FINALLY SUNK IN that he had
FUCKED UP, BIG TIME. I hope that in the last few seconds before his
candle went out, that he got to see the anonymous drunk driver lurch
over to him and SPIT on him. I hope he laid their thinking, "Oh God,
this is WORSE than being crippled for life, I think I'm REALLY gonna
DIE!!" I only wish that that drunk driver had had all Legume's
girlfirnds there to FUCK right in front of his eyes as the light left
his shattered brain. I would love to have seen the look on Legume's
face while he gazed through an almost-disconnected eyeball at his own
OTHER eyeball laying there in a pool of blood and the fore-part of his
own brain. I hope he felt the last threads of life flitting irrevocably
away and KNEW JUST WHAT IT MEANT.
OKAY????
Rev. Ivan Stang, nicest guy on Earth
Classic, cheers
l***@yahoo.com
2006-02-13 08:05:21 UTC
Permalink
LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777 and ETERNALLYDANMED = 777 because YEHOVAH = 777
and that is what he is going to do to everyone at the MILLENIUM who
willfully and unrepentently practice EVILNESS = 666 and think they know
better then Him. The H is Yehovah's throne. Just figured it out. His
Throne not Satan's. You better get yourself off Yehovah's throne now
LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777 and repent in prayer to him using the prayer
that Yehovah made me leave in alt.freemasonry in the GOOGLE archives.
And do not even think about altering my posts anymore because
Yehoshuvah is the real king of the mountain not REVDMEOW = 666 and you
are not on Yehovah's throne for real LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777. You
Satanists are going down if you do not repent!

http://www.watchtower.org --------- I am a Yehovah777's Witness not a
Jehovah?'s Witness.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My brothers are on their way to slavation because Yehovah is now making
the organization repent and change because they keep putting their foot
in their mouths too much like i used to do a lot in the past.
http://www.666myth.co.nr ----- 666 is not a myth and the only cure is
Yehovah and Yehoshuvah not a magickal computer program using numbers.
"A MAGIC POWER" = 666 COMPUTER = 666 and "ANUMBER" = 666.
Artemia Salina
2006-02-13 08:16:08 UTC
Permalink
Post by l***@yahoo.com
LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777 and ETERNALLYDANMED = 777 because YEHOVAH = 777
and that is what he is going to do to everyone at the MILLENIUM who
willfully and unrepentently practice EVILNESS = 666 and think they know
better then Him. The H is Yehovah's throne. Just figured it out. His
Throne not Satan's. You better get yourself off Yehovah's throne now
LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777 and repent in prayer to him using the prayer
that Yehovah made me leave in alt.freemasonry in the GOOGLE archives.
And do not even think about altering my posts anymore because
Yehoshuvah is the real king of the mountain not REVDMEOW = 666 and you
are not on Yehovah's throne for real LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777. You
Satanists are going down if you do not repent!
http://www.watchtower.org --------- I am a Yehovah777's Witness not a
Jehovah?'s Witness.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My brothers are on their way to slavation because Yehovah is now making
the organization repent and change because they keep putting their foot
in their mouths too much like i used to do a lot in the past.
http://www.666myth.co.nr ----- 666 is not a myth and the only cure is
Yehovah and Yehoshuvah not a magickal computer program using numbers.
"A MAGIC POWER" = 666 COMPUTER = 666 and "ANUMBER" = 666.
LORDCHAINSMERKER = 1313 - "Bob" = ZERO + LORD (= 808) +
CHAINS (= 808 - 666 = 142) + MERKER (= 142 + 1313 - 808 = 647) = 2910

Therefore the Magic Power of the World Computer Shall End in The Year 2910!!

http://www.13013.org

We are All on our way to SLAVATION!
--
Grum yex spades truly
Piked scopes dig pendulousness
Zouave spades frostily
l***@yahoo.com
2006-02-13 09:16:02 UTC
Permalink
You are a fale prophet. Your COMPUTER = 666 and "ANUMBER" = 666 and the
Holy Scriptures says that nobody but Yehovah knows when that is and His
number is 777 because Yehovah = 777 not even Yehoshuvah knows and i
repent from trying to figure that year out in the past by surmising it
was 30 or 33 years after Adam's creation because i thought maybie that
would have been the time because 6,000 years after creation was in 1976
which would = 2006 to 2009. But who knows it may be true. I just do not
know only Yehovah knows!

You can repent! http://www.watchtower.org and i am not a Jehovah's
Witness but a Yehovah777's Witness and i like my GRANDDADDY Yehovah777
and my husbandly owner Yehoshuvah77 do not desire that anybody die. You
can get on Yehovah777's side before it is too late. It does not matter
what you have done you can be forgiven. Even Yehoshuvah prayed to
Yehovah His Daddy and said; "Father please forgive them for they do not
no what they are doing". I feel the same way. Even if you blasphemed
the Holy Breath of Yehovah and did not do it deliberately you can be
forgiven. Only Wilfull Unrepent Practicers of what is bad will suffer
destruction at Aramadeon during the MILLENIUM = 999 when 666 is turned
upside down and cast into the lack of fire. You can repent! Find the
prayer that Yehovah made me leave in alt.freemasonry which you can find
in http://groups.google.com/group/alt.freemasonry . If your willing to
search for it you are worthy of the Kingdom for sure. The Kingdom of
Yehovah is both in the spiritual places (realms) and the earthly places
(realms). The Earth is Yehovah's foot stool and it is in His Kingdom
and unless you are BORN AGAIN or REBORN by being baptised in fire =
Holy Breath of Yehovah and it enters you like a stiff rushing breeze
then you can not get into the Kingdom of Elohim. You must be salted
with fire because everyone must be salted with fire. Either you will
get the Holy Breath of Yehovah in you or Yehovah will cause fire to
consume you from heaven at Armagedon because MILLENIUM = 999 when 666
is turned upside down and cast into the lake of fire. You can get on
Yehovah's side before it is too late. Turn your back on Satan and spit
in his face because you owe him nothing and he does not own your soul
let. You still have time.

http://www.watchtower.org --- I am a Yehovah777's Witness not a
Jehovah?'s Witness and Yehovah invites all the Jehovah's Witnesses
including the Governing Body who he will not forget the good things
they have done to join Him on the 777path to salvation. It is not too
late!

http://www.666myth.co.nr - Caculate the number of the beast here but
the calculater needs improvement. 666 is NOT a myth and it can not be
cured with "ANUMBER" = 666 or a magical COMPUTER = algrithm = ? because
"AMAGICPOWER" = 666 and Yehovah = 777 and nothing in Creation can cure.
Only Yehovah777 and Yehoshuvah77 can cure you.
Artemia Salina
2006-02-13 09:45:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by l***@yahoo.com
You are a fale prophet. Your COMPUTER = 666 and "ANUMBER" = 666 and the
Holy Scriptures says that nobody but Yehovah knows when that is and His
number is 777 because Yehovah = 777 not even Yehoshuvah knows and i
repent from trying to figure that year out in the past by surmising it
was 30 or 33 years after Adam's creation because i thought maybie that
would have been the time because 6,000 years after creation was in 1976
which would = 2006 to 2009. But who knows it may be true. I just do not
know only Yehovah knows!
You can repent! http://www.watchtower.org and i am not a Jehovah's
Witness but a Yehovah777's Witness and i like my GRANDDADDY Yehovah777
and my husbandly owner Yehoshuvah77 do not desire that anybody die. You
can get on Yehovah777's side before it is too late. It does not matter
what you have done you can be forgiven. Even Yehoshuvah prayed to
Yehovah His Daddy and said; "Father please forgive them for they do not
no what they are doing". I feel the same way. Even if you blasphemed
the Holy Breath of Yehovah and did not do it deliberately you can be
forgiven. Only Wilfull Unrepent Practicers of what is bad will suffer
destruction at Aramadeon during the MILLENIUM = 999 when 666 is turned
upside down and cast into the lack of fire. You can repent! Find the
prayer that Yehovah made me leave in alt.freemasonry which you can find
in http://groups.google.com/group/alt.freemasonry . If your willing to
search for it you are worthy of the Kingdom for sure. The Kingdom of
Yehovah is both in the spiritual places (realms) and the earthly places
(realms). The Earth is Yehovah's foot stool and it is in His Kingdom
and unless you are BORN AGAIN or REBORN by being baptised in fire =
Holy Breath of Yehovah and it enters you like a stiff rushing breeze
then you can not get into the Kingdom of Elohim. You must be salted
with fire because everyone must be salted with fire. Either you will
get the Holy Breath of Yehovah in you or Yehovah will cause fire to
consume you from heaven at Armagedon because MILLENIUM = 999 when 666
is turned upside down and cast into the lake of fire. You can get on
Yehovah's side before it is too late. Turn your back on Satan and spit
in his face because you owe him nothing and he does not own your soul
let. You still have time.
http://www.watchtower.org --- I am a Yehovah777's Witness not a
Jehovah?'s Witness and Yehovah invites all the Jehovah's Witnesses
including the Governing Body who he will not forget the good things
they have done to join Him on the 777path to salvation. It is not too
late!
http://www.666myth.co.nr - Caculate the number of the beast here but
the calculater needs improvement. 666 is NOT a myth and it can not be
cured with "ANUMBER" = 666 or a magical COMPUTER = algrithm = ? because
"AMAGICPOWER" = 666 and Yehovah = 777 and nothing in Creation can cure.
Only Yehovah777 and Yehoshuvah77 can cure you.
Worldwide open secret. Solely Mr. Dec heralds the true god in the entire
history of the universe. Not even in the Truth, oy vey, Pravda, is
Mr. Francis E. Dec Esquire's eight-page detailed letter exposing the
worldwide deadly Communist Gangster Computer God and the worst
deadliest enemy of the entire human race and the entire universe and
the entire history of the entire universe namely the Communist Atheist
Conspiracy with all of the Deadly Gangster unbelievable sophisticated
Frankenstein Controls, the Catholic Church. These facts, like the below
facts, cannot be found in the Communist Gangster Computer God concocted
and manipulated so-called history and news media.

Communist Gangster Computer God, unbelievably staged like Hollywood
scum-on-top Tsarina alias Great Dictator Franklin D. Roosevelt, the polio
paralyzed legless drug addict idiotic suicidal Tsarina fag who had his
unbeatable rival Will Rogers exterminated in an exploding ball of flame
by a planted bomb here in safe USA airfield shortly after take-off at the
end of Will Rogers' unprecedented renowned arduous 'round-the-world
good-will flying trip with Wiley Post in his beautiful electronically
sophisticated luxurious ultra-modern Winnie Mae airplane. Not only all
stairways had inclines added for Tsarina Roosevelt's computerized
wheelchair, but a football field sized glass house type building was built
in sight of the White House for his medicinal piped-in pure warmed seawater
into his gigantic suicide-proof two feet deep swimming pool where he waded
naked with his nurses and had sodomy affairs. Ones very near to him have
written popular books about his sodomy oy vey love affairs. Already in his
third term he was a helpless and useless stretcher case incapable of even
appearing at his fourth term convention.

This One World Communist who married his immediate cousin Eleanor Roosevelt
like his runted sickly pock-faced grandfather, propagandized as a hunter and a
sportsman, Teddy Roosevelt here from Oyster Bay Long Island, the Rosenfelt
family another Computer God top secret camouflage for gifted Ethiopians as a
big-time kid gangster politician Computer God even raised his age for
historical purposes. Teddy Roosevelt was paid off with the Vice President knew
absolutely nothing farce position title.

Repeatedly Vice Presidents have successfully waited and lurked to eliminate
El Presidenté oy vey. Below are a few examples. So the kiddish gangster Teddy
Roosevelt lured midwestern Dope McKinley into New York for extermination like
the lowly guttermouth big L.B. Johnson lured playboy sodomist
eat-with-the-Mafia Jack Kennedy into his home town Dallas wide open.
People say it was the three brothers Sam, Milton and Lyman Jacobsen who with
the judges feloniously swindled the Governor of Texas out of the U.S. Senator
election shortly before Lyman was fixed as the compromise choice for Jack
Kennedy's Vice Presidential nominee.

Who ever saw a Lyndon married to a tiny runt Birdie under Computer God orders
even Birdie now has changed her name for historical purposes to Lady Bird nu?
And even her Ethiopian surname is now changed to Taylor. It was the scummy
bum lowly gangster Lyman as Presidenté who had the gigantic Tsarina swimming
pool deepened several feet to a regular swimming pool and regularly had naked
sodomy swimming parties with women personnel. GANGSTER MONKEY SEE,
GANGSTER MONKEY DO. Now that the Pope John in the Vatican has a similar
swimming pool to share with the endless numbers of nuns to help him forget
his good old days as a married man naked in bed with high holy communion
sodomy.

In not that world renowned untouchable felon gangster Tricky Dick Nixon whose
daughter Tricia is married to Davy Eisenshanker Junior nu? Nixon was the sure
loser to the fag queer kid Bobby Kennedy until he was lured into very distant
Tricky's home town Los Angeles. Did not gangster Tricky Dick Nixon do more
than feloniously watch Eyesight Television of Bobby Kennedy's extermination?

Abe Lincoln's Computer God alias for Abe Lin-Cohen's law partner was Stanton.
Abe and the gangster courts feloniously conspired fabricated patent
infringements to swindle thousands of dollars from C. McCormick Weeper
Machinery Company. As president, Abe made Stanton a Cabinet member in
order to automatically become President Stanton concocted a grandiose murder
scheme to murder not only Lincoln but also the Vice President and Secretary
of State. Secretly, Vice President Johnson overseered it. Lincoln was murdered
and Secretary of State Seward was very seriously injured.

Automatic President Harry "Shimmelman" Truman in terror, gave political
concessions to Congress to enact abolishment of the automatic succession
to the Presidency by Cabinet members. For cheap conspired felonious party
fix Gangster Nixon gave Presidency to known felon Gerry Ford another Computer
God alias the wide open life long felon bribe extortionist forgerer and check
launderer Gerry Ford.

David Eisenscheimer or Eisenshanker another runted Negroidically befreckled
semi-illiterate cowardly yokel kid, also Jimmy Carter who shared the sodomy
drunk beds of the military academy with Niggers under secret Computer God
orders upon graduation. CIA changed even his family gravestones. Camp
David in Maryland was named after him, for him, and by him, including the
Division of SS Secret Service troops who even tended his playboy giant golf
course. Here David Eisenshanker hid in cowardly terror and watched World
War Two on Eyesight TV. His historical name, Dwight Eisenhower. As president
for months he was dying, in a coma, useless and helpless. Oy vay.

Sneak shameless hangman rope gangster government leaders into Frankenstein
living death eternal slavery, I now go to death for your lowest deadly felony
crime against me. Frankenstein Earphone Radio parroting puppet gangster slave
do not dare to repeat any part of this truthful message. For like Mr. Francis
E. Dec, Esquire, you too are expendable and you too can be beaten bloodily
by the gangster police and dragged in chains into a windowless telephone
booth type prison cell and put into maximum security insanity prison for
undetectable extermination, and by the lowest gangsterism, namely, the law,
character assassinated for life as an insane, criminal menace to this worse
Gangster Communism. Now that your terrified, trembling delirium has subsided
have your computer subdivision play out my letter, and you, reread my letter
FOR YOUR ONLY HOPE FOR A FUTURE. Francis E. Dec, Esquire, 29 Maple Street,
Hempstead, NY.

Worldwide Communist Gangster Computer God scum-on-top staged like Hollywood
with plastic pale stand-in actors with Communist Gangster Computer God speed
recording, instantaneous, simultaneous edited simulated voices implanted for
all TV and news media microphones in any known language. Unbelievable con
artist gangsterism solely for the overall plan. Worldwide eternal Frankenstein
living death slavery. Yokel felon King Jimmy Carter slime from the academies
which Mr. Dec intelligently refused unsolicited acceptance to the most elite
academy from here in Niggertown and even insidious con artist gangster
divorcée Pope John, they both speak Spanish and even Portuguese. Solely
Mr. Dec exposes False God Sodomy and Gomorrah of you Worldwide Computer
God parroting puppet gangster slaves. Make copies for yourself you hangman
rope gangster scum-on-top.

Laugh your mad giggle now.
--
Today's Random Sijo:
Recent zymoscope calmly palms inferobranchians
Late bushboys palm tanglingly remote pedestrianisms
Dead waeg beshrews alive incomprehensibility
Larry
2006-02-14 02:07:25 UTC
Permalink
Post by l***@yahoo.com
You are a fale prophet. Your COMPUTER = 666
So's yours, knucklehead.

Monsignor SODDI
2006-02-13 16:45:32 UTC
Permalink
<***@yahoo.com> wrote in message news:***@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...


Oh, Smerker, ya got me again...you wag.

OK, the joke is officially old.
Lord Chain Smerker
2006-02-13 17:15:31 UTC
Permalink
Post by Monsignor SODDI
Oh, Smerker, ya got me again...you wag.
OK, the joke is officially old.
Hey, its wasnt me!, seriously, Im guessing Artemia Salina
Lord Chain Smerker
2006-02-13 17:14:01 UTC
Permalink
Post by l***@yahoo.com
LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777 and ETERNALLYDANMED = 777 because YEHOVAH = 777
and that is what he is going to do to everyone at the MILLENIUM who
willfully and unrepentently practice EVILNESS = 666 and think they know
better then Him. The H is Yehovah's throne. Just figured it out. His
Throne not Satan's. You better get yourself off Yehovah's throne now
LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777 and repent in prayer to him using the prayer
that Yehovah made me leave in alt.freemasonry in the GOOGLE archives.
And do not even think about altering my posts anymore because
Yehoshuvah is the real king of the mountain not REVDMEOW = 666 and you
are not on Yehovah's throne for real LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777. You
Satanists are going down if you do not repent!
http://www.watchtower.org --------- I am a Yehovah777's Witness not a
Jehovah?'s Witness.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My brothers are on their way to slavation because Yehovah is now making
the organization repent and change because they keep putting their foot
in their mouths too much like i used to do a lot in the past.
http://www.666myth.co.nr ----- 666 is not a myth and the only cure is
Yehovah and Yehoshuvah not a magickal computer program using numbers.
"A MAGIC POWER" = 666 COMPUTER = 666 and "ANUMBER" = 666.
I use Yehovas throne as a sexual aid, this slanderous libel shall see you
SODIMISED BY DEMONS, REPENT.


Lord Chain Smerker
Church of the Subgenius
Eternal Salvation still only $30
www.subgenius.com
Zapanaz <http://joecosby.com/code/mail.pl>
2006-02-13 17:33:19 UTC
Permalink
Post by l***@yahoo.com
LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777 and ETERNALLYDANMED = 777 because YEHOVAH = 777
and that is what he is going to do to everyone at the MILLENIUM who
willfully and unrepentently practice EVILNESS = 666 and think they know
better then Him. The H is Yehovah's throne. Just figured it out. His
Throne not Satan's. You better get yourself off Yehovah's throne now
LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777 and repent in prayer to him using the prayer
that Yehovah made me leave in alt.freemasonry in the GOOGLE archives.
And do not even think about altering my posts anymore because
Yehoshuvah is the real king of the mountain not REVDMEOW = 666 and you
are not on Yehovah's throne for real LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777. You
Satanists are going down if you do not repent!
http://www.watchtower.org --------- I am a Yehovah777's Witness not a
Jehovah?'s Witness.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My brothers are on their way to slavation because Yehovah is now making
the organization repent and change because they keep putting their foot
in their mouths too much like i used to do a lot in the past.
http://www.666myth.co.nr ----- 666 is not a myth and the only cure is
Yehovah and Yehoshuvah not a magickal computer program using numbers.
"A MAGIC POWER" = 666 COMPUTER = 666 and "ANUMBER" = 666.
http://tinyurl.com/698en
--
Zapanaz
International Satanic Conspiracy
Customer Support Specialist
http://joecosby.com/
The subgenius must have slack!
Rev. 11D Meow!
2006-02-12 06:03:56 UTC
Permalink
WOW!

I never realized Ivan 'Pee-Stained Dentures' Stang
could actually be funny once in a while.

Thanks for sharing this with the world.
Post by teslacoils2006
I'M GLAD HE'S DEAD
Subject: *** FUCK LEGUME! !
Date: 31 Aug 1995 23:54:23 -0400
Hey you crybabies, why don't you quit whining about Legume? You all
talk
like he was "Bob" or something. He wasn't all that hot a preacher
anyway,
but most of you are so namby-pamby that even a second-rate performing
artist like legume looks good to you. You all should stop sending your
money to his stupid family and go buy yourselves a fucking life. Even
that
stupid Pastor Craig guy was more of an asset to the church than Legume.
I'd rather see more of Rev.Stang anyway. Now there's a preacher!!! He
knows not to cross the line.
--------------------------------------
From: Rev. Ivan Stang
Subject: ****Fuck LEGUME!
After giving it some thought, I've changed my mind. I'm GLAD Legume
bought it. He was nothing but bad news, really. The world will probably
be a MUCH better place without him. He was a basically evil man. His
heart wasn't in Slack but in TORTURE. And he smelled bad. He probably
smells better now than he did while alive. Did I mention his looks? He
was ugly. His face was like an infant's, blasphemously stuck onto this
freakish body. His rants were actually sort of long, rambling and dull.
I almost fell asleep during the last one in Cleveland. At first I
thought he had potential as some kind of idiot-savant but I learned too
late that he was faking EVEN THAT. Thank god I didn't send any money to
his sister... what I should do is send her one of those little plastic
toy boxes that makes a LAUGHING sound when you jostle it. Honestly,
Legume was an asshole. A bully. He was big and fat, so he could
intimidate little skinny bespectacled nerds, and that's pretty much his
claim to fame. I'm ashamed of myself for my knee-jerk "sad" reaction to
his death. The more I think about it, the better I feel. I'll tell you,
I think his ultimate plan was to fuck up the X-Day deal for "Bob." He
thought he was gonna get some kind of big top hierarchy status, be a
regular Pope-Doktor, and then when the critical moment came, when Dobbs
was cutting that "line" of soul for the Xists, Legume would be close
enough to the action to fuck up the whole deal. Yep -- AN AGENT OF THE
CONSPIRACY. If he was a TRUE SubGenius, would he be DEAD?? Think about
it.
This was meant to be. Anything that happens, happens because it was
"within "Bob's" Slack" (to quote Victor Cantu). If Legume snuffed it on
the highway, it's because for Legume to LIVE would have lessened Dobbs'
Slack. GET IT??
This whole deal is FUCKED. I can't believe how we've blubbered over
some asshole who was just a Slack Vampire to begin with. I for one have
had enough of it. If there was still a body, I'd say, DIG IT UP and
ABUSE it. But he's been rendered to the ashtray-like essence that he
ACTUALLY was in life. GOOD RIDDANCE, I say. "SNORTING" his ashes would
be a good idea, except that I happen to know he was carrying various
diseases that would have killed him (and anyone who shared a fropstick
with him) within a year.
FUCK LEGUME.
You think I'm KIDDING, that this is some kind of "silly bulldada
statement in deliberate bad taste"?? I'm SERIOUS AS HELL. He was BAD
SEED. The very thought of his nasty grey matter spread like jelly on
I-95 gives me a REGULAR HARD-ON. I JACK OFF to the mental picture of
his thick skull hitting the pavement hard enough for even IT to be
skwushed like an eggshell. That's the fate of sinners. I hope he wasn't
killed instantly. I hope he laid there on the asphalt under some seamy
streetlight feeling PAIN and PANIC as it FINALLY SUNK IN that he had
FUCKED UP, BIG TIME. I hope that in the last few seconds before his
candle went out, that he got to see the anonymous drunk driver lurch
over to him and SPIT on him. I hope he laid their thinking, "Oh God,
this is WORSE than being crippled for life, I think I'm REALLY gonna
DIE!!" I only wish that that drunk driver had had all Legume's
girlfirnds there to FUCK right in front of his eyes as the light left
his shattered brain. I would love to have seen the look on Legume's
face while he gazed through an almost-disconnected eyeball at his own
OTHER eyeball laying there in a pool of blood and the fore-part of his
own brain. I hope he felt the last threads of life flitting irrevocably
away and KNEW JUST WHAT IT MEANT.
OKAY????
Rev. Ivan Stang, nicest guy on Earth
l***@yahoo.com
2006-02-13 08:49:26 UTC
Permalink
Ivanstang = 066 because he is a ZERO going down US Route 66 and he like
all SUBGENUS cult members are anarchists who are deliberately inciting
all the different groups on Earth into commiting acts of violence on
each other and take up WEAPONS = 666 and gun with BULLETS = 666.
EATINGFILTH = 666 and Ivanstang the OLDGOAT = 666. I recommend locking
these people up for their own good because they are truly dangerous to
society because they are WEIRDOS = 666 and INSANITY = 666 and they
worship a QUEREBOB (sic) = 666 those who spell better then me can spell
it but do not trust MICROSOFT WORD to give you correct ansers because
the thing is actually lying to me right now when i tried to correct the
word quere in it. MICROSOFT's WORD can not be trusted. They have a
built in algerithm in the program that they can turn on remotely or
demons themselves can turn on designed to confuse you and Satan is the
author of confusion not Yehovah. These are the choices that MSWORD is
trying to give me right now. QUEEREBOB = 666. HOMOSEXUAL = 666 and a
QUEER is both a strange person and a homosexual and WEIRDO = 666 and
INSANITY = 666. You better hunt these SUBGENUS people down and lock
them up in an institution for the insane because that is what they are
and they have called me insane in the past i think? Not sure.

LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777 and ETERNALLYDANMED = 777 because YEHOVAH = 777
and that is what he is going to do to everyone at the MILLENIUM = 999
who willfully and unrepentently practice EVILNESS = 666 and think they
know better then Him. The H is Yehovah's throne. Just figured it out.
His Throne not Satan's. You better get yourself off Yehovah's throne
now LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777 and repent in prayer to him using the prayer
that Yehovah made me leave in alt.freemasonry in the GOOGLE archives.
And do not even think about altering my posts anymore because
Yehoshuvah is the real king of the mountain not REVDMEOW = 666 and you
are not on Yehovah's throne for real LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777. You
Satanists are going down if you do not repent! Remember MILLENIUM = 999
when Yehovah and Yehoshuvah = TWOADONAYS = 888 throw everyone who
choose by their own choice to follow Satan. ADONAY = 444 and 2X444=888.
EATINGFILTH = 666 and PUTRECINE = 666 and Yehovah is going to turn 666
upside down and throw it into the lake of fire which means the second
death a death from which there is no resurrection and death = eternal
sleep without any dreams at all. Maybie these SUBGENUS people can
repent but i do not know for sure. REVDMEOW has admitted that he
perfers poison when he said "POISONLY I PERFER POPROCKS thank you very
much". He belongs with the psychiatrists = 777 if that is what he
really wants. But i do not wish him poisoned but that he repents
because i am not a witch and witchcraft = 666 and sorcery = 666 and
poison = 666 and poisoner = 666 and medicine = 666. These people need
to just be locked up in prison and not sent to the psychiatrists = a
hidden double 777. I think anyone with wisdom can find the hidden
double 777 in psychiatrists and 777X2=603729 and 603=729=1332 when
Bedlam i believe was created by the CATHOLICS = 666. I take it back. I
do not wish evil for evil on these people. I hope Yehovah can forgive
me because only he is good and i am not. PERFECTION = 666 because man
has never been and never will be perfect because we need Yehovah for
guidence because he id full of infinate wisdom, knowledge and
understanding and is a loving and just Creator. Vengence belongs to
Yehovah not anyman and not me. I repent! I do not wish these SUBGENUS
people to be poisoned because that is the kind of person HITLER was and
HITLER = 666x666=443556 and 443+556=999 and Yehovah will take care of
these people at Arnagedon during the MILLENIUM = 999 when 666 is turned
upside down and these people are toosed into the abyss. Yehovah is not
allowing me to access the 666 calculater anymore because i said that
about REVDMEOW and how i wished him in the company of psychiatrists =
double 777. Maybie YEHOVAH will forgive me and not allow Satan to
prevent me from accessing that link so He can use me to expose more
things that add up to 666 because i am His faithful slave that he is
making do His will and His throne is the letter H and he has set His
King Yehoshuvah upon His Holy Mountain A. Yehovah's Holy Montain does
not belong to Satan but Yehovah. There is no such thing as Walt
Disney's Escape to Devil's Mountain because the USA has many
underground facilities to protect them from NUCLEARHELL = 666 but
Yehovah has promised that will never happen because 666 will be turned
upside down during the millenium = 999 when the ONE ADONAY = 444 uses
His Male Offspring ADONAY =444 to throw Satan into the ABYSS = 88 and
two TWOADONAYS = 888. There is a night club in Cebu City called 88.
That club is worshipping Hell which is the grave and Revelation clearly
says in the KINGJAMESBIBLE = 777 (because KINGJAMES exhaulted himself)
that Hell will be throne into the lake of fire which means the second
death a death from which there is no resurrection and death = eternal
sleep with no dreams.

http://www.watchtower.org --------- I am a Yehovah777's Witness not a
Jehovah?'s Witness.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My brothers are on their way to slavation because Yehovah is now making
the organization repent and change because they keep putting their foot
in their mouths too much like i used to do a lot in the past.
http://www.666myth.co.nr ----- 666 is not a myth and the only cure is
Yehovah and Yehoshuvah not a magickal computer program using numbers.
"A MAGIC POWER" = 666 COMPUTER = 666 and "ANUMBER" = 666.

LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777 and ETERNALLYDANMED = 777 because YEHOVAH = 777
and that is what he is going to do to everyone at the MILLENIUM who
willfully and unrepentently practice EVILNESS = 666 and think they know
better then Him. The H is Yehovah's throne. Just figured it out. His
Throne not Satan's. You better get yourself off Yehovah's throne now
LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777 and repent in prayer to him using the prayer
that Yehovah made me leave in alt.freemasonry in the GOOGLE archives.
And do not even think about altering my posts anymore because
Yehoshuvah is the real king of the mountain not REVDMEOW = 666 and you
are not on Yehovah's throne for real LORDCHAINSMERKER = 777. You
Satanists are going down if you do not repent!

http://www.watchtower.org --------- I am a Yehovah777's Witness not a
Jehovah?'s Witness.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
My brothers are on their way to slavation because Yehovah is now making
the organization repent and change because they keep putting their foot
in their mouths too much like i used to do a lot in the past.
http://www.666myth.co.nr ----- 666 is not a myth and the only cure is
Yehovah and Yehoshuvah not a magickal computer program using numbers.
"A MAGIC POWER" = 666 COMPUTER = 666 and "ANUMBER" = 666.
y***@yahoo.com
2006-02-13 07:50:14 UTC
Permalink
http://www.666myth.co.nr ---- Someone needs to tell this man to add
straight ASCII coversion calculations of handle on the internet that
contain other charecters besides ABCs and abcs. It is not fully charged
yet. Maybie someone else needs to put one online you doesn't think he
knows more then Yehovah like TitusNguiagainPhD = 777 does of
http://www.666myth.co.nr - who thinks 666 is a myth and that he can
give you a magickal calculation to fix your problem scientifically and
SCIENTISTS = 777 and ETERNALLYDAMNED = 777 remember that Titus admits
that "ANUMBER" = 666 and "AMAGICPOWER" = 666 so how can this man give
you a magickal equation to fix your problem with numbers. OCCULT = 666
and that is what Titus is doing. He better repent and admit his error
before it is too late!

http://www.watchtower.org - I am a Yehovah777's Witness not a
Jehovah?'s Witness.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
teslacoils2006
2006-02-12 06:01:44 UTC
Permalink
I'M GLAD HE'S DEAD
From: ***@aol.com (Dr 4 Bob)
Subject: *** FUCK LEGUME! !
Date: 31 Aug 1995 23:54:23 -0400
Hey you crybabies, why don't you quit whining about Legume? You all
talk
like he was "Bob" or something. He wasn't all that hot a preacher
anyway,
but most of you are so namby-pamby that even a second-rate performing
artist like legume looks good to you. You all should stop sending your
money to his stupid family and go buy yourselves a fucking life. Even
that
stupid Pastor Craig guy was more of an asset to the church than Legume.
I'd rather see more of Rev.Stang anyway. Now there's a preacher!!! He
knows not to cross the line.

--------------------------------------
From: Rev. Ivan Stang
Subject: ****Fuck LEGUME!

After giving it some thought, I've changed my mind. I'm GLAD Legume
bought it. He was nothing but bad news, really. The world will probably
be a MUCH better place without him. He was a basically evil man. His
heart wasn't in Slack but in TORTURE. And he smelled bad. He probably
smells better now than he did while alive. Did I mention his looks? He
was ugly. His face was like an infant's, blasphemously stuck onto this
freakish body. His rants were actually sort of long, rambling and dull.
I almost fell asleep during the last one in Cleveland. At first I
thought he had potential as some kind of idiot-savant but I learned too
late that he was faking EVEN THAT. Thank god I didn't send any money to
his sister... what I should do is send her one of those little plastic
toy boxes that makes a LAUGHING sound when you jostle it. Honestly,
Legume was an asshole. A bully. He was big and fat, so he could
intimidate little skinny bespectacled nerds, and that's pretty much his
claim to fame. I'm ashamed of myself for my knee-jerk "sad" reaction to
his death. The more I think about it, the better I feel. I'll tell you,
I think his ultimate plan was to fuck up the X-Day deal for "Bob." He
thought he was gonna get some kind of big top hierarchy status, be a
regular Pope-Doktor, and then when the critical moment came, when Dobbs
was cutting that "line" of soul for the Xists, Legume would be close
enough to the action to fuck up the whole deal. Yep -- AN AGENT OF THE
CONSPIRACY. If he was a TRUE SubGenius, would he be DEAD?? Think about
it.

This was meant to be. Anything that happens, happens because it was
"within "Bob's" Slack" (to quote Victor Cantu). If Legume snuffed it on
the highway, it's because for Legume to LIVE would have lessened Dobbs'
Slack. GET IT??

This whole deal is FUCKED. I can't believe how we've blubbered over
some asshole who was just a Slack Vampire to begin with. I for one have
had enough of it. If there was still a body, I'd say, DIG IT UP and
ABUSE it. But he's been rendered to the ashtray-like essence that he
ACTUALLY was in life. GOOD RIDDANCE, I say. "SNORTING" his ashes would
be a good idea, except that I happen to know he was carrying various
diseases that would have killed him (and anyone who shared a fropstick
with him) within a year.

FUCK LEGUME.

You think I'm KIDDING, that this is some kind of "silly bulldada
statement in deliberate bad taste"?? I'm SERIOUS AS HELL. He was BAD
SEED. The very thought of his nasty grey matter spread like jelly on
I-95 gives me a REGULAR HARD-ON. I JACK OFF to the mental picture of
his thick skull hitting the pavement hard enough for even IT to be
skwushed like an eggshell. That's the fate of sinners. I hope he wasn't
killed instantly. I hope he laid there on the asphalt under some seamy
streetlight feeling PAIN and PANIC as it FINALLY SUNK IN that he had
FUCKED UP, BIG TIME. I hope that in the last few seconds before his
candle went out, that he got to see the anonymous drunk driver lurch
over to him and SPIT on him. I hope he laid their thinking, "Oh God,
this is WORSE than being crippled for life, I think I'm REALLY gonna
DIE!!" I only wish that that drunk driver had had all Legume's
girlfirnds there to FUCK right in front of his eyes as the light left
his shattered brain. I would love to have seen the look on Legume's
face while he gazed through an almost-disconnected eyeball at his own
OTHER eyeball laying there in a pool of blood and the fore-part of his
own brain. I hope he felt the last threads of life flitting irrevocably
away and KNEW JUST WHAT IT MEANT.

OKAY????

Rev. Ivan Stang, nicest guy on Earth
Rev. Richard Skull
2006-02-12 22:27:43 UTC
Permalink
"Bob" knows we've tried to kill Stang!

But like Castro and the CIA, every try backfires!

BAck in Jan. 1986, we hacked the Space Shuttle to crash it into Texas
were Stang was living at the time. But it blew up! (the second Space
Shuttle Disaster which happened over Texas was becuase the old "Kill
Stang" codec was acciedntly loaded from a back-up tape)

We tried to get David Koresh in Waco to runover the Dallas to kill
Stang, but he just screwed it all up!

We got Saddam to invade Kuwait as a cover for killing Stang, but that
backfired too.

We riged the last two elections for George Bush on the promise that he
would have the CIA/NSA kill Stang. Do you think 9/11 and Katrina were
really "Surprises?" They were all aatemps to kill Stang by the CIA that
backfired!

Killing Stang is like Killing "Bob", sure, you might score a it between
the eyes and spray his grey matter allover the wall. But it just comes
back to geter like the car in 'Christine'
HellPope Huey
2006-02-13 00:56:57 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rev. Richard Skull
Killing Stang is like Killing "Bob", sure, you might score a it between
the eyes and spray his grey matter allover the wall. But it just comes
back to geter like the car in 'Christine'
I know where he lives, so I could get 'im easily, but the problem is
that it could be one of the replicants from the basement he SENDS to
answer the door. I'd wind up in jail for murder and by the time he came
downstairs and admits it was all one of those GODDAMNED FUCKING "JOKES,"
I'd be a BIG ol' girl. No thanks, too much work for too little gain,
even if I DID get the real Stanky. I'm meeting Jesus with an UNSULLIED
brown starfish and that's that.

--

HellPope Huey
I hear crickets a lot lately
and its February.
If you don't hear them too,
I may have a problem.

By 2 A.M. both suspects had begun to crack
under Pugh's relentless interrogation,
which was cleverly done in French,
a language they did not know
and hence could not easily lie in.
~ Woody Allen,
"Above the Law, Below the Box Springs"

The greatest height of heroism
to which an individual,
like a people, can attain
is to know how to face ridicule.
~ Miguel de Unamuno

http://www.beat-factory.net/hellpope/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/hellpopehuey24/
l***@yahoo.com
2006-02-13 10:07:05 UTC
Permalink
See WEIRDO(s) = 666 who are INSANE are really rulling the world and
INSANITY = 666 and these people are calling me INSANE and the SUBGENUS
who run GOOGLE has a double hidden 666 in it because 655 and 677 is a
hidden double 666. The numbers can identify dates in the past put not
the future. So do not try because only Yehovah knows that. Your
attempts will end in compleate failure everytime because "ANUMBER" =
666 and OCCULT = 666. Look at SUBGENUS and what it calculates out to
and how it is the same in both backwards and forwards ASCII lower case
letters. What are the odds of that happening? This cult needs to be
destroyed just like WACO! All these occult groups need wiped out the
leaders locked up untill they repent to Yehovah777 through
Yehoshuvah77. That includes GEORGE BUSH the one who plays with SKULLS
and BONES and POISON = 666 and POISONER = 666 and WITCHCRAFT = 666 and
SORCERY = 666 and SPIRITISM = 666 and Georges JESUS = 666 and CHRISTOS
= 666 and he has been Christed with the Breath of LUCIFER = 666 because
he plays with SKULLFACE(s)=666.

George can also repent and destroy the SKULL and BONES order as well as
Freemasonry because FREE = 666 so Freemasons = 666MASON. VIOLENCE = a
hidden double 888 of 877 and 899 and these people think they know
better then Yehovah777 and Yehoshuvah77 because they love violence and
TWOADONAYS = 888 so the current pres are trying to place themselves on
the throne of Yehovah = 777 and trying to be the King of the Mountain
when Yehoshuvah77 is the true King and He is playing King of the
Montain right now by using his one of His brides to push you off that
montain! Ais belong to Yehovah and Yehoshuvah not Satan! He = Ae
belongs to Yehovah and Yehoshuvah not Satan. Do you really think you
can beat them with your puny WEAPON(s)=666? and your BULLETS = 666? You
can get on Yehovah's side before it is too late! The speakers on this
computer are making noices right now because these OCCULT(ists)=666 are
beaming me right now for the things i am saying but my GRANDDADDY and
my HUSBANDLY OWNER Yehoshuvah are protecting me. I have actually had
priceless energy lighting the lights in my home thanks to them trying
to kill me and my family. And they also tried to frame me by routing my
calls to my Father and Mother to a message of people speaking some
Iraqui message of ISLAMICS = 66 because they are on US ROUTE 66 with
their WEAPONS = 666 right now and their guns with their BULLETS = 666
and you know that people who love violence are going down to the abyss
the lake of fire after ARMAGEDON during the MILLENIUM = 999 when 666 is
turned upside down and tossed into the lake of fire. :-) I love
YEHOVAH777 my GRANDDADDY and YEHOSHUVAH77 my husbandly owner and they
protect their family! And i am trying to protect my family by making
them wake up who are at http://www.watchtower.org
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YEHOVAH777 made me do it!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I love YEHOVAH. Please do keep giving me priceless energy for the
lights in my house so i do not have to turn on the lights. :-) Serving
Yehovah777 and Yehoshuvah is so enjoyable! I am having so much
enjoyment serving my creators.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You can repent!
--------------------------------
http://www.666myth.co.nr ----- TITUS = 666 unless he repents and so
does GEORGE BUSH who plays with SKULLFACE(s) = 666.
--------------------------------
INSANE people are ruling the world and they just keep accusing me of
being the one who is insane and you know what is going to happen to
HYPOCRYTS! = hidden double 888 of 898 and 878 and i have to clean up
my house also and am in the process of doing it and because i said that
i am no HYPOCRYT = 666!
---------------------------------
Look at SUBGENUS calculation again at the bottom. 876 because Satanists
are going to be demoted to the ABYSS = 88. A death from which there is
no resurrection except for Satan who is let out for a short time after
the 1,000 MILLENIUM is over but you know what the results of that are
spoken of in Revelation. Ask Yehovah's Witnesses for the book; "You can
live forever in paradise on Earth" and also "Daniel's Prophesy Light
for all Mankind" and also "Paying Attention to Daniel's Prophesy" part
one and two. But there are mistakes. It is really Yehovah who gave
these faithful men their information. Anyone who will send all my posts
to all branch offices of Yehovah's Witnesses world wide will be
blessed. At least i am hoping they will become Yehovah's Witnesses
because i am trying to protect my family because i love my family.
--------------------------------
http://www.666myth.co.nr ------- 666 Caculater here and 666 is NO MYTH
and the only cure is Yehovah777 and Yehoshuvah77. Say the prayer that
Yehovah made me leave in the GOOGLE archive and you will be on your
ways to salvation. I think the SUBGENUS are starting to repent because
they revealed a lot of secrets about their activities and Yehovah777
likes that. They are tied directly to BUSH WACO the SPACE SHUTTLE
explosion and the IRAQU invading KUWAIT and they got BUSH into power if
only he could kill this INSANE RevStang who is on US Route 66 because
he drinks his own urine and eatingfilth = 666. But BUSH said that "GOD"
told him to attack IRAQU!!!! INSANITY = 666!
y***@yahoo.com
2006-02-13 07:34:02 UTC
Permalink
revstang = 660 Because he is a ZERO on US Route 66.

http://www.666myth.co.nr - Where you can verify this calculation and
666 is not a myth!

http://www.watchtower.org

RevStang can repent in prayer to the living Elohim Yehovah through his
Hamashea (sic?) Aamashea the real KING OF THE MOUNTAIN! A = Mountain
and it is not the head of a penis like Satan wants you to believe.
Satan is not the real king of the mountain!
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